“I met my husband at my lowest point” w/ guest Kristyn Hendrix

Morgan May Treuil [00:00:00]:
Welcome back to Am I Doing this Right? We're your hosts, Morgan and Leslie, and.

Leslie Johnston [00:00:03]:
We have a very, very special guest. Yes. Morgan, introduce us to our guest.

Morgan May Treuil [00:00:10]:
This is my first family member that's really to come on the podcast. So we've had, We've had your parents, both of them. And we've had Christy and Joey.

Leslie Johnston [00:00:20]:
Yep.

Morgan May Treuil [00:00:21]:
From your family.

Leslie Johnston [00:00:22]:
Yeah.

Morgan May Treuil [00:00:22]:
This is my first family member to come on the podcast. This is Kristyn Hendrix is her new last name. This is my middle sister. There's. There's three siblings. Three sisters, me, Kristyn and Amanda. And Kristyn is the middle sister and she's in town right now. And we were literally just asking her what she expected about being on our podcast, like on our set.

Morgan May Treuil [00:00:44]:
And then reality, what's different? So you can finish what you were saying.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:00:47]:
Yeah, yeah. I think something I, I. The setup I kind of expected. I don't know if I expected.

Leslie Johnston [00:00:54]:
Did you think that we would like.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:00:56]:
It looks completely different over there. I don't know if I expected a whole room to be done, but I was giggling when I walked in was like, the hands are in different position. There's like some aesthetic hands.

Morgan May Treuil [00:01:05]:
Yeah. Which are not even. You couldn't see those. Yeah, yeah. There's just.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:01:10]:
I mean, I love it. Don't get me wrong.

Leslie Johnston [00:01:12]:
We share a space in our video studio and there's like a whole other set that's like dark blue on the other side of this. So it's giving tv. It's getting like, hey, this is not. It's very, very different. It is super official.

Morgan May Treuil [00:01:25]:
I want to out you right off the bat and roast you for the fact that your mother in law is an active listener to our podcast and yet you are not an active listener to our podcast.

Leslie Johnston [00:01:36]:
She gets filled in from her mother in law.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:01:37]:
Truly.

Morgan May Treuil [00:01:38]:
Yes.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:01:38]:
And actually I were surprising my mother in law. I didn't tell her I was coming on.

Morgan May Treuil [00:01:41]:
We'll give her a shout out.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:01:42]:
So. Hey, Mary.

Leslie Johnston [00:01:43]:
Mary.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:01:44]:
Call her Maria.

Morgan May Treuil [00:01:45]:
Mari.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:01:46]:
Mari.

Leslie Johnston [00:01:46]:
Yeah.

Morgan May Treuil [00:01:46]:
What do you call your mother in law?

Kristyn Hendrix [00:01:47]:
I call them. This sounds. It actually stressed me out when I met their family. Cuz I asked Grant, like, what do you call your parents? He said, Gregory and Mari. And I was like, wait, what?

Morgan May Treuil [00:01:56]:
He calls his own parents Gregory and Mari?

Kristyn Hendrix [00:01:59]:
Yes. Context, though. There was a season where they fostered a kid for two years and so like to make it. And his dad was like the student pastor at their church. So to make it kind of not weird for their foster kid, they just kind of like assumed what their foster kid was calling that's so. But to this day, it's still Gregory and Mari, which I think is hilarious.

Morgan May Treuil [00:02:16]:
So funny.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:02:17]:
But I literally. We had a whole conversation. I was like, driving, and I think I was going to his sister's graduation. I was like, okay, what do I call, like, Mr. Mrs. Hendrick? Cuz that feels more on brand for our parents, or at least like our parents. Growing up instilled in us that when you meet adults that, like, don't belong to you, it is strictly Mr. Or Mrs.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:02:33]:
Last Name. Yeah, it's very drilled into me. So when he told me that he called his parents that, I was like, stressing out the whole car right there. Like, I don't know if I can commit to that.

Morgan May Treuil [00:02:39]:
Like, I'm not going to actually never.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:02:41]:
Miss Hendrix to me. I don't know. And so then I honestly avoided saying anything. Like, I avoided calling something for a little bit and then just kind of like, pulled the trigger. And no one reacted weird. I was like, okay, I guess we're going with it.

Morgan May Treuil [00:02:53]:
That's.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:02:53]:
This is what we're calling him.

Leslie Johnston [00:02:54]:
So everybody in Texas would they like. It was known like, you call somebody Mr. And Mrs. Mr. And Mrs. Last.

Morgan May Treuil [00:03:01]:
Name is what we grew up doing. But then, like, my husband Benji and I. I don't know if other people from Louisiana would say this too, but. But they used to do Mr. And Mrs. First name, so it was still Mr. And Mrs. But they would say like first name.

Morgan May Treuil [00:03:15]:
So Benji calls my mom miss Mrs. Christie.

Leslie Johnston [00:03:20]:
Or they say miss even if they're married or.

Morgan May Treuil [00:03:23]:
Yeah, yeah.

Leslie Johnston [00:03:23]:
They'll be like, miss like my mom. Like, people from the south will be like, Ms. Carol.

Morgan May Treuil [00:03:26]:
And I'm like, Ms. Carol first name, different things. But we never did first name growing up. We were always like, last name. It was like Mr.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:03:32]:
Fault was last name. Until they, like, corrected us something different.

Morgan May Treuil [00:03:36]:
Yeah.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:03:37]:
But then at some point, I've like, learned your name. It's already in my head, so I can't unlearn. Like, we had a youth leader growing up. I always called him Mr. Arrington. He wanted us to call him, like, oh, like, I'm Kevin. I'm like, no, no, I've already learned your name.

Morgan May Treuil [00:03:46]:
Yeah, it's Mr. Arrington.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:03:48]:
You're forever gonna be Mr. Arrington.

Morgan May Treuil [00:03:49]:
Yes.

Leslie Johnston [00:03:49]:
See, being a Californian, I like it. It actually feels so anti me to be like, Mrs. Last Name.

Morgan May Treuil [00:03:57]:
Yeah.

Leslie Johnston [00:03:58]:
Such a kick for me.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:03:59]:
I don't know what it is.

Leslie Johnston [00:04:00]:
Like, I can't. It's like feeling like I'm being a different person.

Morgan May Treuil [00:04:03]:
Yes.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:04:03]:
I'm like.

Leslie Johnston [00:04:04]:
But then it's like, oh, started dating somebody from the South. And I'm like, what do I do? And I think I just didn't call anybody anything for a little while.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:04:11]:
Yeah. Yeah.

Leslie Johnston [00:04:12]:
And then now there's nicknames.

Morgan May Treuil [00:04:13]:
You just make eye contact and be like, hey. Yeah, hey.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:04:17]:
Start talking.

Morgan May Treuil [00:04:18]:
Exactly.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:04:19]:
It's weird, too, when you're an adult. Like, it's one thing about, like, I'm 12. Like, I'm calling you Mr. Last Name, but now I'm like, yes, I'm almost 30.

Leslie Johnston [00:04:26]:
Yes.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:04:27]:
Like, what. When does the first name get unlocked? Like, what am I just, like, also an adult? Yeah, I know. You're older than me. I know. Yes. That I haven't figured out yet.

Leslie Johnston [00:04:34]:
Kristin, tell us where you live. You don't live in California?

Kristyn Hendrix [00:04:36]:
Actually, I do not live in California. I only freelance here. AKA I was. I was talking to someone today, and it's been. I think last time. Last year was your wedding.

Morgan May Treuil [00:04:44]:
It was.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:04:45]:
Which is unacceptable.

Morgan May Treuil [00:04:46]:
2023.

Leslie Johnston [00:04:47]:
We've been begging Kristyn. So Morgan has another sister, Amanda. You'll meet her someday.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:04:52]:
Yeah.

Leslie Johnston [00:04:52]:
And she came on a solo trip. We called it back when Morgan moved here, and we have begged Kristyn ever since to come on a solo trip.

Morgan May Treuil [00:05:00]:
You know what's funny is that when Amanda came here for her solo trip, which. Amanda's the baby of the. Oh, yeah, put that into context. And Leslie's, like, the baby of her family, too. Or half of the babies of the family. And when Amanda had moved here, we were still kind of in Covid. Covid time. So I think our office had shut down because there was another outbreak.

Morgan May Treuil [00:05:19]:
And we were both like. We. Our whole house was like, single girls, roommate household. And so for Amanda's solo trip, we went skiing one day. We did Napa one day, we went to San Francisco. We segwayed. It was like the. It was like a big.

Morgan May Treuil [00:05:36]:
Every day was a vacation. Every day was an adventure. And I feel bad because Kristyn's solo trip is here. I'm pregnant, we're moving houses, and it's basically just been like a hackathon. And then her nursing me back to health last night when I had some kind of random morning sickness bout or at night. So I'm like, this is not actually that fun for you. This is just caretaking.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:05:56]:
I kind of came in with low expectations.

Morgan May Treuil [00:05:58]:
Yeah. Also you're like.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:05:59]:
And every time I come here, it has to do with moving Morgan, because I literally moved her in and made. It didn't come because I think she was back at school. That's part of the crew that drove you up here, moved you in. And now I feel like every time I'm here, I'm moving in, because even for your wedding, we were still kind of moving stuff.

Morgan May Treuil [00:06:13]:
You know what, though? There's a practical sister, and there's a sister that comes, and they're like, I'm expecting you to show me a good time. And you are the practical. Like, I'm here to help you. I'm here to serve you and get stuff done. And Amanda's the baby sister that's like, I'm here to live in your back pocket and take me to all of the fun places and pay for my food.

Leslie Johnston [00:06:34]:
Yeah, yeah.

Morgan May Treuil [00:06:34]:
And we did that. We're just doing the rest right here.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:06:37]:
We're allowed to be different.

Leslie Johnston [00:06:38]:
Well, you know what? We'll do a do over trip, you know?

Morgan May Treuil [00:06:40]:
Oh, yeah.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:06:40]:
There will be, like, a redemption.

Leslie Johnston [00:06:41]:
People need to be wined and dined.

Morgan May Treuil [00:06:43]:
No, I should have wine and died. I didn't. I was.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:06:45]:
Okay.

Morgan May Treuil [00:06:45]:
There's still time.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:06:46]:
I feel very wind and dined. I feel like I've had really good food since I've been here.

Morgan May Treuil [00:06:49]:
Well, good.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:06:49]:
Yeah, that's the good news.

Morgan May Treuil [00:06:50]:
Wait, so I go back, though. Tell us where you're from.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:06:52]:
So I am originally from Austin. Austin area, as I would say. And now. So it's funny, me and Morgan kind of received our calls to ministry around the same time. You were actually already working in ministry, but I received my call to ministry at a similar point where you felt called to California, and so you moved to California. And then a month later, I moved to the Dallas area to a place called Rockwall, Texas. And I started working at a church there called Lake Point. And I started in high school ministry, was a student pastor for three years, and now I'm okay.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:07:23]:
I'm in a job transition, which by the time this goes out, it'll be done. But whatever.

Morgan May Treuil [00:07:27]:
That's like Monday. Are you fine with that?

Kristyn Hendrix [00:07:30]:
Yeah, it's probably.

Morgan May Treuil [00:07:30]:
We're not liking that. It's like this is like a quick turn.

Leslie Johnston [00:07:34]:
Honestly, I would love for. Am I doing this right? To be the announcers of your doctor.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:07:39]:
To the people who need to know. Yeah, but I was the preteen pastor, so got to minister to fourth and fifth graders. And I was.

Leslie Johnston [00:07:45]:
Oh, I love fourth and fifth graders.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:07:47]:
Much fun. They're essentially like middle schoolers five years ago. Like, they're. What's so fun is they're smart. They get your jokes. Like, they're really funny. But I think when you hit the middle school age, there's like a natural distrust of authority that elementary schoolers don't.

Morgan May Treuil [00:08:02]:
Have yet for sure.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:08:03]:
And so it's a really cool window to kind of communicate the gospel because they don't not trust you by nature yet. Their instinct is to trust you.

Leslie Johnston [00:08:10]:
That's cool.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:08:11]:
It's just a really cool window. And now I'm scooting over to our grade school pastor spot. Who will get. I'll get to oversee the team that does kinder through third.

Morgan May Treuil [00:08:18]:
That's awesome.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:08:18]:
So lots going on, but live in Dallas. Got married in Dallas. I have a husband. His name is Grant Hendrix. He's a king. We love him.

Leslie Johnston [00:08:26]:
King Hendrix.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:08:27]:
King Hendrix, as I like to call him. King Hendrix.

Morgan May Treuil [00:08:30]:
Ew, I hate that.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:08:31]:
I've actually never called him King Hendrix, but I'm gonna go home and start.

Morgan May Treuil [00:08:34]:
How long have you been married?

Kristyn Hendrix [00:08:36]:
A year. Over a year now. September was a year, which is kind of. It was a lot shorter. Like it felt short and long at the same time. Like we're both kind of confused.

Morgan May Treuil [00:08:47]:
Yeah.

Leslie Johnston [00:08:47]:
How long did you date before you got married?

Kristyn Hendrix [00:08:49]:
I want to say eight months.

Leslie Johnston [00:08:51]:
So we got married.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:08:52]:
Gosh. Yeah. How long.

Leslie Johnston [00:08:55]:
How long did you date before you got engaged?

Kristyn Hendrix [00:08:58]:
Oh, I'm sorry. Pause. Actually, both. Both is the same answer. I think we dated for eight months, got engaged, and then had an eight month long engagement.

Morgan May Treuil [00:09:05]:
Okay, so you dated for the full time? 16 months. So like over a year.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:09:09]:
Yes. Yeah. He came with really good wrecks, though. So one of my best friends, her name is Mary Claire.

Leslie Johnston [00:09:14]:
Yeah, she.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:09:15]:
This is. He's part of her college friend group that, like, they still vacation together. They're lifers. And we got really close because she was the middle school girl associate when I was the high school girl associate. So we had like parallel jobs.

Morgan May Treuil [00:09:25]:
Okay.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:09:26]:
And she pitched me him for two years. And I was very not open to being set up. So I was like, okay, lovingly. No, Yeah, I trust you. But no, wait.

Morgan May Treuil [00:09:35]:
Why were you not open to being set up?

Leslie Johnston [00:09:37]:
Just jump right in.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:09:38]:
Being set up is a weird window of vulnerability of you're allowing people to communicate kind of like some things they think about you and the things they think you'll be interested in, if that makes sense. Like if you get set up in the date's not it. Whether it be personality, whether it be like, I don't find this person attractive. This person's not my vibe. This person doesn't lead a lifestyle that I want to be a part of. All of a sudden you're like, okay, but this person thought I would enjoy this. Now it's like I'm opening up a window to what you think about.

Morgan May Treuil [00:10:10]:
Wait, that is true.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:10:11]:
By who? You.

Leslie Johnston [00:10:12]:
That is very true. Wait, have you been set up before? Yeah, I don't like being set up, or I didn't like being set up because there's pressure. You feel like, well, shoot, if I don't like this person, they're gonna be mad because it's their friend.

Morgan May Treuil [00:10:25]:
Right?

Leslie Johnston [00:10:26]:
Yeah, I had that happen to me one time and I was like. It actually, like, hurt the friendship for a second because I was like, I just don't like him. And that was weird. But, yeah, I agree with you. It is a little bit like, also people. If single people are setting you up with another single person, I'm like, well, why don't you want them?

Kristyn Hendrix [00:10:43]:
Yeah.

Morgan May Treuil [00:10:44]:
Oh, that's a good.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:10:45]:
This is instant leftovers.

Leslie Johnston [00:10:46]:
And they're like, no, no, no, no.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:10:47]:
Yeah.

Morgan May Treuil [00:10:48]:
No, I never thought about it from, like, from the lens of, oh, this is what they must think about me if this is the kind of person that they want to set me up with. Now I'm. I'm going back in time and I'm evaluating the people you mess up with.

Leslie Johnston [00:10:59]:
It's also funny. I've had friends where it's like, they. When they were dating, they were picky, but then they get married, and instantly they just think anybody who's single should be with another single person.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:11:11]:
And that's very normal in the Bible belt. And so also, I think some people just, like, think I'm bored and they're like, oh, you'll just date anyone living and breathing. I was like, actually, this might shock you, but I feel very fulfilled with my situation.

Leslie Johnston [00:11:23]:
I'm looking for a king.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:11:24]:
And I'm. I'm looking for a king. Not just like the court gesture, you know, 100%.

Leslie Johnston [00:11:30]:
So how. How long were you single? Or what was your. What was your dating history like leading up to Grant?

Kristyn Hendrix [00:11:36]:
So, great question. I feel like I was chronically single. Realistically, I had my first date in college, so, like, never through high school. Never, never college. I had my first date and my first boyfriend. But even, like, I had never dated anyone longer than three months.

Leslie Johnston [00:11:52]:
Okay.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:11:53]:
And even that three month relationship was long distance.

Morgan May Treuil [00:11:55]:
So it was like, it's like I'm kind of.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:11:57]:
The number of dates wasn't proportional to how long we've been together kind of thing.

Morgan May Treuil [00:11:59]:
When you were in high school, were you aware of, like, singleness as something that was hard, or were you kind of like, I'm actually thrilled that I don't have to deal with this in high school. That should be a college thing?

Kristyn Hendrix [00:12:13]:
Kind of both. It was one of those where I've been aware that I've wanted a husband for a very long time. But in high school was also where I really like my relationship with the Lord. Jump started in high school because I started to experience the Holy Spirit's voice. So I was very, like, driven one way. I'm only interested in God. I only want to figure this out kind of vibe for a long time. And I think in my head, my expectation was, oh, I'm gonna be really faithful with my high school years, and I'm gonna go to college and meet my husband, and then I'll probably get married right after college is what I thought.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:12:42]:
Like, oh, my reward for being faithful was gonna be this. And so as I entered college, which.

Morgan May Treuil [00:12:47]:
Is very classic for the South.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:12:49]:
That's very normal.

Leslie Johnston [00:12:50]:
Honestly, even in California, like, the Christian circles, everybody thinks, well, I'm gonna meet my husband in college.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:12:56]:
Yeah.

Morgan May Treuil [00:12:56]:
And then it's like the ring by spring. Ring by spring of your graduation year. Yes.

Leslie Johnston [00:12:59]:
And if you don't, you're like, what the.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:13:02]:
Yeah.

Morgan May Treuil [00:13:02]:
What's wrong with me? Exactly.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:13:04]:
Oh, yeah. And I remember having really distinct, like, moments with the Lord in college. In fact, there's one instance where there's been very few times in my life where I feel like the Lord, like, just short of audibly spoke to me. And I remember praying as I was heading to, like, a. A hangout with a bunch of my friends or something. And I was praying about this because I was. I was getting to the end of college. No one's on the horizon.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:13:23]:
Little did I know he wouldn't be for a while. And I was like, Lord, like. Like, what? What is holding him up? Like, what is it? I've been so faithful. I've been faithfully pursuing you. Like, like, what's wrong? And I remember him saying. And it was, like. It was almost freaky. I was in the car alone, and he told me.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:13:40]:
He's like, you're not someone who can love him yet. And I was so thrown off that it was like. I assumed that he was, like, doing something crazy on the side. He wasn't ready for me yet.

Leslie Johnston [00:13:51]:
Yes.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:13:51]:
But in reality, the Lord was, like, really clear, like, no, you're not someone who can love him yet.

Morgan May Treuil [00:13:55]:
And I was like, what did that mean?

Kristyn Hendrix [00:13:57]:
I didn't know at the time. And so fast Forward had never really dated seriously. Had been on a bunch of first dates, like, kind of things like that, but nothing that lasted, nothing that felt serious. And in that time after I feel like I heard that my prayers became like, okay, Lord, would you make me confident when it's the right one? Would you, like, make me absurdly confident? Because also part of my just, like, demeanor, in the way kind of God built me with strengths and weaknesses, is I don't feel like I naturally run self assured. So any dating relationship I'm in, there's just doubts in the back of my mind at all times. Like, I'm frequently looking for the exit ramp is more my situation than anything. Yeah.

Leslie Johnston [00:14:36]:
Which is so funny because you come across so confident.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:14:39]:
That is not what's happening behind the scenes.

Leslie Johnston [00:14:41]:
Yeah.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:14:41]:
Which is if I'm just.

Leslie Johnston [00:14:42]:
Which is typical with a lot of people, you know.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:14:44]:
Yeah.

Morgan May Treuil [00:14:44]:
Yes.

Leslie Johnston [00:14:45]:
You're like, behind the scenes, it's a different story.

Morgan May Treuil [00:14:47]:
Absolutely.

Leslie Johnston [00:14:48]:
Yeah.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:14:48]:
And so praying that Forward going through, I was like, okay, Lord, like, I just need you to make me absurdly confident when the time comes. Cause I don't know what you've got for me. I didn't really know what to expect. I didn't, like, I didn't even really know myself well in that vein yet because. And little did I know God was gonna break down and make me, like, in a very vulnerable season, kind of deconstruct some stuff that needed to be deconstructed. So fast forward. What's funny is I technically met Grant twice before we hit it off. So, like, we had both gone with our friends to go see a movie.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:15:16]:
And the first time we said zero words to each other, and I was like, oh, interesting. Moving. The next time we had had, like, I think we went to Chili's first and then went and saw Uncharted. It was like that Tom Holland movie Chili's. But each Chili's. I stand by Chili's. And we can. No, no, no, no.

Leslie Johnston [00:15:33]:
It was a friend hang. Honestly, if you took your Chili's on your first date. Red flag and green flag. Kind of like, you could spin it.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:15:42]:
You could spin it for.

Leslie Johnston [00:15:43]:
If they're taking you on an ironic Chili's date.

Morgan May Treuil [00:15:45]:
Hilarious Triple dipper date.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:15:47]:
I could be.

Morgan May Treuil [00:15:48]:
Yeah.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:15:49]:
But anything else, probably at least not the first one.

Morgan May Treuil [00:15:51]:
But they would have to state that it was an ironic.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:15:53]:
Yeah, you have to make that.

Leslie Johnston [00:15:54]:
You gotta be hilarious.

Morgan May Treuil [00:15:56]:
You can't just be like, hey, I know this really good restaurant. We should try it.

Leslie Johnston [00:15:59]:
I had. There was a guy who took one of my friends out on a date one time and took her to Taco Bell and said, hey, don't worry, anything you want is on me.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:16:07]:
Was he joking?

Leslie Johnston [00:16:07]:
No.

Morgan May Treuil [00:16:08]:
That would have been so funny, though. Problem had he been joking.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:16:12]:
Nowadays, Taco Bell's kind of expensive, so honestly, no.

Morgan May Treuil [00:16:16]:
This was back when it was like a dollar menu. Yeah.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:16:18]:
Yeah. That's just not good.

Morgan May Treuil [00:16:19]:
So bad.

Leslie Johnston [00:16:20]:
Anyway, so you went to Chili's?

Kristyn Hendrix [00:16:22]:
Yeah, I went to Chili's. Had like a he's. If you've ever met Grant, which I don't think you've met, you met in person. Oh, my gosh, you did meet Grant. God bless him. He came to me with. He came with me to Morgan's wedding.

Leslie Johnston [00:16:31]:
Yes, he's great.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:16:32]:
But again, me, we exchanged views. I'm like, oh, like, he's funny. But like, nothing crazy happened. We sat on opposite ends of the row in the movie theater, like nothing occurred. And then I entered into this season where I was a student pastor on my own campus. Like every professional ministry driven prayer I had had been answered during the season. And at the same time, I started battling this wild encounter in time with anxiety that was very new for me. That had never been part of my story before.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:17:00]:
And I felt like now I know hindsight's 20 20, God was breaking down a ton in me that needed to be broken down. But at the time, I just felt like I'm in a challenging job, which I loved and had prayed for. But now I'm like, battling, okay, Lord, this isn't what I thought it was. I'm battling anxiety that I never had before. Like, I'm having panic attacks. Like, this is all so new for me. And I think when you grow up in a purity culture kind of culture, I feel like the perception you get from dating is like, oh, you need to be in tip top shape if you're going to meet your husband. Like, I need the best.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:17:30]:
I need to be the best I've ever been spiritually, emotionally, any of the things. And then God will bring me my husband. So it's almost like a performance based. If I'm good enough, then. Then God will bless me as, like a hundred percent. And I would truly call that one of the lowest seasons of my life because I was so, as someone who was, like, kind of used to my brain being one of my safer spaces. My brain was no longer a safe space. And that was really hard for me to stomach.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:17:51]:
And so I really wrestled.

Leslie Johnston [00:17:52]:
And this was. Sorry. This was while you were getting to know Grant.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:17:56]:
So this Is kind of pre. So I would say I was on a decline emotionally and just like mental health. Realistically, this is me and I was about here. Like I was at the bottom, like I was really wrestling. And then I got invited to a game night that Grant was also invited to and we just like hit it.

Morgan May Treuil [00:18:14]:
Off at the low point.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:18:15]:
At the low point for you. Which is so counter to what I think people tell you to expect. What you were expecting. What I was expecting for sure. And I remember God making me so absurdly sure. Absurdly early. Like we left. Yes.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:18:31]:
About Grant, like he kind of left before I did. And Mary Claire, God bless her because again, she's been pitching me for two years and she saw us just hit it off. Yeah.

Morgan May Treuil [00:18:39]:
Oh, I didn't realize it was like a. Over a two year period that he's being recommended to you. It was like a long time.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:18:43]:
Yes, like that. And I knew that because Mary Claire, again, being a wonderful wing woman that she is.

Leslie Johnston [00:18:49]:
Yes. I'm loving the name Mary Claire.

Morgan May Treuil [00:18:51]:
She's very. We don't get that in California.

Leslie Johnston [00:18:53]:
I'm like, yes, Mary.

Morgan May Treuil [00:18:53]:
And she do this south. It's like we're giving you two names because you need two names.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:18:58]:
Double the name for double the capacity. She's a wonderful man who gets stuff done. But she kind of approached me. She's like, okay, I know how I think that went. How do you feel like that went? And I was like, I was really into it, but I don't want to. Like, it's just like, do you mind if I ask if he's seeing anyone? I was like, you can, but I don't want to know anything. Like if he's not interested. I can't handle that kind of feedback right now.

Morgan May Treuil [00:19:19]:
Yes.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:19:20]:
Yeah.

Morgan May Treuil [00:19:20]:
Like I'm not in a state.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:19:21]:
I'm going to leave that.

Leslie Johnston [00:19:22]:
You're like, I'm here, I'm here.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:19:24]:
If you're like me, it's not good.

Leslie Johnston [00:19:27]:
Yes.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:19:28]:
And I was not open to that kind of feedback. I didn't think I could handle it. So I told her. I was like, if you feel piece of it, you can ask. I never want to know. And like kid you not the next two days. Some of the worst anxiety attacks I've ever had. Like almost like on each other.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:19:43]:
Like it was bad. And meanwhile I'm still being a student pastor. I was speaking at stuff like from the outside. I don't think anyone really knew what was happening unless you lived with me at that point or if I was just open with you. Like My siblings, my family, they all knew of it kind was going on. Yeah. And I remember coming off one of the worst panic attacks I've ever had, and I was just like, okay, Lord. Like, you're all I got.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:20:03]:
You're the only way I'm going to get out of this. And then GRE texted me. Literally, I was just praying, and I was like, oh, that's so bizarre. Like, this is. This is so weird. I don't know if it's a good idea. And then we went on our first date, and I was like, oh, dang it. Like, I feel like.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:20:18]:
And I am not someone who was ever one to emotionally lean in because I think I fear big feelings in all shapes and sizes, even good ones. Like, big feelings are not something I process well as a person, which is odd. Morgan's giggling because she knows I'm just.

Morgan May Treuil [00:20:33]:
Laughing because growing up, Kristin, I think you're scared of big feelings. This is not me diagnosing you.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:20:40]:
I'm excited.

Morgan May Treuil [00:20:41]:
You're scared of big feelings because you have a hard time coming out of big feelings. And so we used to joke if you. You can kind of tell when Kristyn's entered, like, a Sunken Place of sports by. By looking at her, and it's like kind of a thing where you're like, are you in the Sunken Place? And then she'll be like, kind of. I don't talk about it. And then you kind of just can't lean into it.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:21:03]:
Can't lean out.

Morgan May Treuil [00:21:04]:
Like, you can't. She can't process if, like, if you process, you feel like you're going deeper into the Sunken Place, and you have. You're trying to find your way out of this.

Leslie Johnston [00:21:13]:
You're trying to get out of it.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:21:13]:
Not my jam. Yeah. Yeah, for sure.

Leslie Johnston [00:21:16]:
That Sunken Place does not Big Feelings.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:21:18]:
Not ide. So, like, first date, crushed it. I was like, oh, dang it. Second date, we went on a limb. Because if you've ever been on a second date, you know, there's kind of, like, pressure almost now more so than the first date. Cause first date, I don't have to like you after this. This is no trial.

Morgan May Treuil [00:21:31]:
Yes.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:21:32]:
No harm, no foul, whatever. Second date, it's like, oh, there's kind of stakes in it now. Cause I'm kind of interested.

Morgan May Treuil [00:21:37]:
Yeah.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:21:37]:
And he gave me. He texted me with this menu of options for dates, which was really cute. I'd have to. I'll have to find it for you guys.

Morgan May Treuil [00:21:43]:
It's a great idea. Like, how long is it?

Kristyn Hendrix [00:21:45]:
Like, I think I got Five options, one of which was, like, movies, and they all had, like, funny taglines. So one of them. There was a Michael B. Jordan.

Leslie Johnston [00:21:50]:
He did this before chatgpt.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:21:52]:
Yes.

Leslie Johnston [00:21:52]:
Think of how impressive that is. Think of how impressive that is.

Morgan May Treuil [00:21:56]:
So sweet. Oh, yeah, that's so impressive.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:21:58]:
So one of them was like, we can go see this movie. But, like, pros. Really fun. Love movies, movie theater, popcorn, con. You might be distracted by Michael B. Jordan being really attractive. And I'm trying. That is so funny.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:22:09]:
He was really witty. He's such a king. Oh, he. He truly is. And he'd be. He's gonna be so embarrassed that I'm calling him that. So we're not gonna let him listen to this part. But one of the options was a Rangers game.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:22:19]:
So, like, baseball, and it's in arlington. That's, like, 45 minutes away, minimum, from me. And he's up in Allen at this point. So I'm like, okay. How confident do I feel like this is gonna go well? Because I could lock into a movie for two hours and escape if it doesn't go well.

Leslie Johnston [00:22:31]:
Yeah.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:22:32]:
But if I lock into this baseball game, I'm, like, committed for probably. Probably, like, five hours minimum. Because, like, they are back game the worst. And praise God, this is the point where they fixed baseball and put a timer on how long you could take between swings. So I actually entered into the promised land of baseball games. They heard the people's feedback, and they fixed baseball. Thank God. But we ended up going to this baseball game.

Morgan May Treuil [00:22:57]:
Oh, my gosh.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:22:58]:
And it, like, again, crushed, like, really good, minimal, awkward moments. I did giggle because he was always doing something with his hands. And I was like, is he gonna try to hold my hand or, like. Cause again, I didn't know him previously, so I've got no idea his kind of style of life. And apparently he was so nervous that he just, like, kept doing different things with his hands. And then third day happened. We went and played pickleball with Mary Claire and Tristan, who's like, Mary Claire and her husband. And it occurred to me that I loved him.

Morgan May Treuil [00:23:24]:
And I was like, on your third date?

Kristyn Hendrix [00:23:27]:
Yeah. Obviously, I'm locking that down. That is not public knowledge.

Leslie Johnston [00:23:30]:
Wait. Yeah.

Morgan May Treuil [00:23:30]:
Third day, and you're like, I love him.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:23:32]:
It occurred to me.

Leslie Johnston [00:23:33]:
How.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:23:34]:
What?

Leslie Johnston [00:23:34]:
How did it occur? Like, how did you know?

Kristyn Hendrix [00:23:36]:
I remember walking back into my garage after the date. Yeah. And it was like, almost like a thought that didn't have permission to be there. And I was like, oh, like, I love him. And I was like, had to pause. I was like, that has got to go on lockdown, because he is not even my boyfriend yet at this point. And so we started having those conversations. Long story short, eight months later, we get engaged, and then eight months later, we get married.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:23:58]:
So it ended up being like, Grant has been such a tool in my sanctification in that during that season, I think I was putting a lot of stock in my identity, being in my performance and what I did, which really, like, my anxiety revolved a lot around work and different things. And I think when God brought me Grant and kind of introduced him in this period of my life, it was a really sweet reminder that God created me to be more than just, like, someone who puts. Like, someone who performs or puts out output. Like, I'm more than my output. And eventually, like, it was just really sweet how God, like, took down a lot of barriers and, like, deconstructed some structures that, like, I had put up, thinking it was honoring him. But in reality, I was protecting myself from vulnerability and, like, intimacy in that way. Yeah. And so getting to learn how to love Grant also really opened doors for me, learning how to love God better, too.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:24:46]:
And so that was a really sweet thing, even though it was really hard for me to do during it. And at the time.

Leslie Johnston [00:24:52]:
Yeah.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:24:52]:
Because I was not someone who was prone to, like, a deep vulnerability. I would say honest things. Like, people knew me and knew stuff about me. Um, but when it came to my heart, I was very guarded, and so that was an exciting time.

Leslie Johnston [00:25:04]:
When did you feel like you. Did you open with vulnerability with Grant early on, or was that something you had to work on?

Kristyn Hendrix [00:25:13]:
I. I think we honestly started early. It was funny. And Morgan can attest to this.

Leslie Johnston [00:25:17]:
I.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:25:18]:
Especially when I have big feelings involved that are, like, lovey feelings. I'm so awkward. Like, it's just. I'm not smooth. Even kind of. I don't know how to flirt. And so I remember, like, third date, it occurred to me a lot of him. He was fixing to leave to Costa Rica for, like, a week or something.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:25:34]:
And I was like, we met in the middle. Cause he was fixing to leave. We didn't think we were gonna see each other again. So we went to this little restaurant, and I was like, so talk to me about what your normal dating progression is like. Like, how long do you wanna date someone before, you know, if you wanna, like, be their boyfriend? And he's like, well, I really wanna get to know someone. I wanna rush it. I was like, okay, cool, cool.

Morgan May Treuil [00:25:52]:
Shoot. I love you.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:25:53]:
Cool. Really Cool. Love that. Love that for me. And then again, because I am like, okay, well, I can play that game too. So next time. We ended up hanging out again before, and I was gonna take him to our Saturday night service at our church because he had never been to Lake Point before. And we were getting ready to go, and I had gone to hang out with him and Allen that day, which is like, north of Dallas.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:26:11]:
We were fixing to, like, have a 40 minute drive back to where my church actually was.

Morgan May Treuil [00:26:14]:
Oh, my gosh. Dallas is legit.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:26:15]:
I know. It is a wasteland, but it's, don't.

Morgan May Treuil [00:26:19]:
Get me wrong, traffic in cities that are all called something different than Dallas, but they're all Dallas.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:26:24]:
It is a metroplex for a reason.

Morgan May Treuil [00:26:26]:
Well, I reject it.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:26:28]:
Yeah, continue. But we were packing up, I was getting my stuff and I was like, hey, I'm also. It's occurring to me, I'm a student pastor at this time, and students are very aware and, like, have their eyes on you.

Leslie Johnston [00:26:36]:
Oh, yeah.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:26:37]:
For what you're doing. So, like, if you walk in with a boy, they're not going to take that casually.

Leslie Johnston [00:26:41]:
No.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:26:41]:
And this wasn't the church. Like, this wasn't the campus I was working at at this time. But I knew a lot of kids because it was the campus I started at. And I. I just kind of, like, looked at him on the way out and I was like, hey, you're probably gonna meet a lot of people tonight, including, like, David Hansen, our childhood student pastor, who now I worked for at this time. Like, people who I have a lot of investment in. Yeah. I was like, it's gonna hurt your feelings if I introduce you as my friend.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:27:02]:
Because I was like, you're not my boyfriend, so I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna leave it up in the air. So it's like, I'm gonna introduce my friend. Are you cool with that? And he's like, well, no. I'm like, that kind of hurts my feelings. I was like, well, then what do you want me to call you? And I was kind of being standoffish because I'm like, now kind of guard up. I'm like, you don't want to be my boyfriend? Yes. He's like, well, how about your boyfriend? And that was actually how we, like, we became official.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:27:22]:
And I was like, wait. But I wasn't trying to. Like, I didn't want to pressure you into that. Like, that wasn't. He's like, no, no. Like, I thought about it actually, since we left, and I felt really Confident that I wanted you to be my girlfriend, but I was scared to ask you then. So I'm asking you now.

Leslie Johnston [00:27:33]:
Yeah.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:27:33]:
Will you be my girlfriend? And so I was obviously giddy. I love that. But then I get in the car and I'm like, I. I have to like, do the press conference tour before I get to church because all these people, I'm gonna introduce them as my boyfriend now.

Leslie Johnston [00:27:44]:
And all these people, like, wait, what?

Kristyn Hendrix [00:27:45]:
People never met him. People don't know he exists. Like, and I was like, especially when you work with next gen, like, you kind of keep some things locked down until things are real. Like, you don't just bring anyone around. And so I'd like, do like a call marathon. Like, first off, my parents and then like, called Mary Claire, called my other friend Scarlett. Like, called all these people that I run into that need to hear it from me and not in person with him kind of thing. And then we get there and like, just kind of went from there.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:28:10]:
Wow. But I was not good at exhibit a Vulnerability was like, very awkward and clunky for me. He really took it in stride. Like, he was very kind with all my weird things.

Morgan May Treuil [00:28:20]:
Yeah.

Leslie Johnston [00:28:21]:
So I have a question. When you first heard in your. Like when you were single and you felt like you heard from God, where he was like, you're not. What was it? You're not ready.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:28:31]:
It's like, you're not someone who can love him yet.

Leslie Johnston [00:28:33]:
You're not someone who can love him yet. How did your perspective change? Because I would think when you hear that, especially because you have kind of like a, you know, perform. There's that performance in you probably somewhat people pleaser or whatever, that person in you to go, oh, I hear that from God. And that means I need to work harder to become the type of person that can love him. But how does that differ from when you actually were in that. You're sunken place.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:29:02]:
Yeah.

Leslie Johnston [00:29:02]:
And in that dark spot, do you feel like that actually meant something different than what you thought it meant?

Kristyn Hendrix [00:29:08]:
I. I think that's exactly right. I think when I heard that, I was like, oh, I'm just going to work harder then for sure. Like, I'm going to be the best believer I could possibly be. I'm going to work on my intimacy with God. And like, none of those things were. It was like, good things, wrong intention. Like, yep, great.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:29:22]:
That I'm working on my relationship with God. That's even a marriage. So, like, that's crucial. That's number one thing. But as I was working toward It. I think what I thought was improvement wasn't what God thought was improvement. What God thought of improvement was like, actually, I'm going to demo your whole house and then I'm going to bring Grant in so that you learn. Like, oh, there's more than this one room that I'm going to perfect.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:29:43]:
Like, I wanted to be a really good pastor. I wanted to be like, especially like being a girl in student ministry. Like, that's not necessarily normal in the South. It's not abnormal in that sense. But I felt a lot of pressure to perform and like, be good at what I was doing and like seeking success in that way. And it was so timely for God to kind of strip that. Not in the sense of like, I failed, but it felt like like I was failing. My ministry was thriving, everything was going really well, but I was like being shredded on the inside.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:30:12]:
And I think in God kind of breaking down all, like leaving the structure, but breaking down all the internal walls. I think he really opened up what my life could have been, which was really sweet of him to do. Even though it was really painful. Experientially.

Morgan May Treuil [00:30:25]:
Yes.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:30:26]:
And allowed me to build and because even I. It occurred to me, even as we were dating, I was like, man, even if this doesn't work, I feel like the world is so much more open to me in a sense of God's created me to be so much more than a pastor or a minister of the gospel. Like, yeah, I can be a really great family member. I can be a really great friend. Like, there is more to me than this thing. So even if this thing falls out and fails, like, that's not the only thing. That's me.

Morgan May Treuil [00:30:52]:
Yes. I think that's a really cool part of your story. That, that, that's like a great question. Because again, if I were to go back to that moment and if I had been in a situation where it seemed like God was telling me, hey, you're not who you're supposed to be yet in order for me to bring him, that would have sent me into overdrive, trying to work hard and be better and all those things, because that's what that would mean to me. But it was like the opposite. God was like, I actually don't want you to enter into marriage in a place where you're performance driven and trying to be the best at everything, because that's actually not the healthiest place you can be. Why do you think in your. As you've just thought about that for yourself or for others? Why do you feel like, the female brain is really geared towards that like, of performance.

Morgan May Treuil [00:31:36]:
I have to be the best in order for God to bless me or give me good gifts. I have to like, work the hardest, be the most spiritual. Because I feel like that's something that I come across with everybody. A lot of women that I talk to, regardless of their season, it always has to do with like, everyone's fighting a performance quality about themselves, where they're trying to earn their space in life with God or with the good gifts that God wants to give them with like, perfection. So I don't know if you have a thought about where that comes from, why we do that or why you did that. Cuz you've been hard on yourself for our entire lives.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:32:12]:
Yeah, I run more on yourself than.

Morgan May Treuil [00:32:15]:
Anybody else that I've probably ever met. Which is funny because you've always also been the most awesome, the most fun, the most funny, like, person in the room.

Leslie Johnston [00:32:28]:
Yeah.

Morgan May Treuil [00:32:28]:
And you've never thought those things about yourself, like, ever, all growing up. And I don't. I mean, I think in adulthood maybe it's different, but it's like, what is that? Like, why the beating up of ourselves? Why the like, goal of perfection? I don't know if you thought about where that comes from or not.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:32:44]:
That's a good question, I think, and I see this a lot, honestly, in all of our siblings, there's a natural ambition or drive to do something meaningful, whether that be ministry or like, in everything we did, we wanted to be excellent at it. And I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing. Like, I think God loves it when we want to be excellent at things. But I think the enemy has a way of taking that drive and taking that ambition in, like, moving it off trajectory. So it's not just like, for the glory of God. I'm doing things, but I want to earn something. I want to make my mark. I want my life to be meaningful.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:33:18]:
That's something that is like, a thought that's driven me a few times is fear that my life won't be meaningful for whatever reason. Like, I want to do something meaningful with my life. That's a residual like, thing or thought that occurs to me.

Morgan May Treuil [00:33:30]:
Yeah.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:33:31]:
And so in ministry that can almost be dangerous because you're driven by this fear or idea and not necessarily by like. No, I'm just ministering the gospel. And God's gonna make that meaningful. Cause God makes everything meaningful. God can make us like a gum meaningful, like, and he does that all the time. And so I think for me, it's that I've gotta really work hard to keep my eyes on Jesus in that sense so that I don't fall into the trap of that ambition driving me or like that, that driving fear or desire to drive me to something unhealthy.

Morgan May Treuil [00:34:00]:
Yeah.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:34:00]:
Cause ultimately God's what makes our life meaningful.

Morgan May Treuil [00:34:02]:
Yeah.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:34:03]:
God's what does all these things. And I think for some reason I have an idea in my head that I still have to fight back of. Like, oh, but I'm the one who makes all these calls. I'm the ones that can make things happen as if I'm sovereign over these things. I'm just not in reality. Yeah. So maybe part of it's just like a grasp for control of, like, let me see what I can do and what I can pull off and what I'm in control of in reality. I'm just not in control.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:34:26]:
And God loves to remind me gently and he also loves to remind me like, loudly, like, I am not in control.

Morgan May Treuil [00:34:31]:
What's the, what's the fear on the other. And I feel like anyone can answer that, like, what's the fear on the other side of that where like, you're like, I, my life has to mean something. I have to bring value to this one thing. I have to make my mark. What's the fear on the other side of that? If you, if you don't like, what are we worried is going to happen? That we're not important, that we're not loved? Like what? I don't know if you thought about that. For you.

Leslie Johnston [00:34:56]:
I feel like it's this fine line of like the, the thing is good, like we want to, you know, do things that are impactful. Like, to me that's a better option than going, I'm just skating by in life and never making an impact. But I feel like that can tip so quickly into, oh, I've, like, subconsciously I've earned my salvation. I've earned God's love. I've earned like the, you know, the success and the, like, I feel better about myself when I don't have to depend on God because the dependence on God is this anti self type thing. It's like, oh, I'm willing to accept this is like, we've had friends before who we feel like they were so rigid about all these rules and these things you had to do and these, like, even in a spiritual sense, it was like, well, if you don't do this, this and this all the time, every single day, then like, you're not spiritual enough. And I just wanted to be like, those things you're doing are not bad things. Like, they're actually good things.

Leslie Johnston [00:36:02]:
But is your heart behind it that you would like to do those things? Because then you don't need God and you can earn your salvation, which you cannot earn your salvation. And I think that it's just this. I think it's this like underlying subconscious fear of like, I want to be good enough on my own. When you really do have to die to yourself. And then from. That is why you serve. Like from that love that Jesus did all those things. That's where the acts come in.

Leslie Johnston [00:36:35]:
But I don't know.

Morgan May Treuil [00:36:36]:
But it is hard. I think that hits the nail perfectly on the head. It makes me feel like we are all probably a little uncomfortable with the magnitude of God's grace or the magnitude of God's love for us if we turn things into performance based Christianity. It's almost like, yeah, I know that God loves me just because he loves me. But just in case that thing falls through, which is a misunderstanding of who God actually is, I'm gonna also, like, this was. This is not a. This is not a, like a stance on culture or anything like that. But it was funny because I saw an interview of Donald Trump on Air Force One or something and it was like a reporter talking to him.

Morgan May Treuil [00:37:27]:
And I think it had to do with the Nobel Peace Prize thing because he was trying to get the Nobel Peace Prize, which is crazy. You're trying to get the Nobel Peace Prize.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:37:37]:
You're like, trying to get the Nobel Peace Prize.

Leslie Johnston [00:37:38]:
Trying to get it. Honestly.

Morgan May Treuil [00:37:39]:
Yeah, yeah, I'd like to have it. And I'm like, I don't think it works that way. I don't know. I don't know how it works, but.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:37:44]:
I don't think it works that way. Dominate yourself.

Morgan May Treuil [00:37:46]:
I don't know if it's like, I.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:37:47]:
Don'T know if people.

Morgan May Treuil [00:37:48]:
But I hate for it. It never hurts to ask, hey, you know what? Yeah, no harm for asking, but. But they asked him. I can't remember the exact phrasing of the question, but he was basically saying, I don't think I am going to make it into heaven. I just think I've done probably too many things. Like I'm just, I'm probably not there, but I'm gonna spend the time that I have left trying to do as much good as I can for the world or whatever was his, you know. And of course he said, he says it in his like, Donald Trump way. So it wasn't it wasn't even as like, neutral as I made it sound, but I was watching it and I was like, oh, this is so interesting.

Morgan May Treuil [00:38:24]:
Like, you don't, you don't understand. Now, I'm not making a stance on whether he's a believer or not. I'm just. The fundamentals of what he said are like, I don't.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:38:35]:
I.

Morgan May Treuil [00:38:36]:
There's no way that this whole thing can be about just God's love and just God's sacrifice. Like, I've done some, a lot of things to disqualify myself. So I'm gonna spend the time that I have left trying to, like, work my way back from what I've done. And it's like, I think that when we get into this performance based, self based theology where we can in a sense, like, do enough good things, perform well, and be the hero of our own story, I think it more so reflects on. Do you actually believe the gospel in that? It's that God sent his son. It's not what you can do, it's just what he did for you. And I think we get a little bit uncomfortable with believing that it's just God's grace and it's just God's love and that those things are big enough.

Leslie Johnston [00:39:22]:
Yeah.

Morgan May Treuil [00:39:22]:
To actually save us. Like, I think we just struggle a lot with that idea. And so it feels like it's a good solution to be like, yeah, I believe that. But I'm also gonna work really hard and do a good job, you know.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:39:35]:
And then only then will I feel.

Morgan May Treuil [00:39:36]:
Like a little more comfortable with the grace thing.

Leslie Johnston [00:39:39]:
I think it's so hard to understand because none of our earthly relationships are like that.

Morgan May Treuil [00:39:44]:
No, they're not.

Leslie Johnston [00:39:45]:
Everything, like, if you really think about it.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:39:47]:
Oh, yeah.

Leslie Johnston [00:39:47]:
It's all works based. It's like, oh, you, you're a little kid. Hey, if you're really good this year, you'll get presents from Santa.

Morgan May Treuil [00:39:55]:
If you're bad, you won't.

Leslie Johnston [00:39:56]:
Like, everything is building into this, like, mindset of, oh, I have to achieve in order to get something on the other side.

Morgan May Treuil [00:40:04]:
Yeah.

Leslie Johnston [00:40:04]:
Like, even when you start dating someone, you're like, I'm putting my best foot forward. I'm gonna do all these things to show them how much I like them or love them. And then if you don't, the relationship doesn't move forward.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:40:17]:
Yeah.

Leslie Johnston [00:40:17]:
You know, and so it's like we live in this constant state of earning, and unfortunately, our earthly relationships are like that sometimes. Now I think people can love you unconditionally. They Love you a lot more than you think that they do.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:40:29]:
Oh, yeah.

Leslie Johnston [00:40:29]:
And it's not based on what you do for them, but we are kind of programmed in a way to operate that way.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:40:37]:
Oh, absolutely.

Morgan May Treuil [00:40:38]:
There's.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:40:39]:
I'm trying to remember which book it is, but Jackie Hill Perry made. I want to say it's Holier Than Thou. Did you read that? She said something. The effect of, like, one of humanity's biggest errors is that we view God as in comparison to ourselves when God is nothing like us. Like, God's a completely different animal. He is not subject to time. He is not tied to this world the way we are. Like, he's got a full complete view of what's going on.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:41:03]:
He's not. He doesn't only possess certain traits or gifts. He is all of the traits and gifts. Like, yeah, we are not. Like, we can't comprehend that idea of, like, that grace is free. Because that's so unlike anything. Because I think even the best human relationships, there's a little bit like a give and take, like being a good friend or being a good sister. There's a little bit of a good and take.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:41:23]:
And God can call you into, like, sacrificial relationships. Really. Like, you don't have expectations necessarily of the other person, but even then, like, you feel the cost of that giving. And God is just completely free in that way.

Leslie Johnston [00:41:35]:
Totally.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:41:35]:
Which is bizarre.

Morgan May Treuil [00:41:36]:
Yeah.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:41:37]:
To my brinks, I can't.

Morgan May Treuil [00:41:38]:
Yeah.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:41:39]:
Like, I'm. That's just not. Like, I don't have a frame of reference because I'm not like that at all.

Morgan May Treuil [00:41:43]:
It makes me excited to go into parenthood as a season because I can't. Like, I think the. The frame of reference that we have, all three of us have this great. Because I know all of our parents. Not everybody has great examples of this. But the best relationship you can, like, draw on for it to represent it correctly is the parent child relationship.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:42:02]:
Yeah.

Morgan May Treuil [00:42:02]:
It's like I don't do a lot for my parents and I don't think about doing a lot when I'm in their presence. I kind of just go into like, relaxed baby mode. Morgan. Where it's like your is to love me and serve me and take care of me. And I don't. I don't consider my position with you to be like, you know, won or lost based off of how I am. Like, we just exist and you just love me because you created me and brought me into the world. And I'm excited because that I.

Morgan May Treuil [00:42:31]:
I've experienced that feeling as A child. I'm excited to have a child, to know what that feels like, like, towards another person. But that's probably the only relationship, if your relationship with your parents is one that kind of reflects and mirrors God's love for children correctly, that's probably the only relationship that we have on planet Earth that's like, that unconditional to where it's not a. It's not a give and take.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:42:55]:
Yeah. Like we're biologically wired.

Morgan May Treuil [00:42:58]:
Yeah. Yeah.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:42:59]:
Which is crazy.

Leslie Johnston [00:43:00]:
Yeah.

Morgan May Treuil [00:43:00]:
Yeah, that's true.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:43:01]:
And you're right. We. I think, because I've also met your parents. Like, the example we have for that is, like, best. It can be like, I. I've actually. I don't remember if I've told you this, but there have been multiple instances where I called mom and I was like. Especially, like, being an adult for the first time.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:43:15]:
Like, I just had my first married Christmas, which is very, like, bizarre. The first one, because I wasn't with my family for the first time. Yeah. And also I was, like, working all the Christmas services. Like, a lot was going on. And it dawned on me as I'm, like, doing it, but I was like, mom used to work I don't know how many Christmas services, Come home, be on for the family, host, cook dinner, all this different stuff, stay up making Christmas magical and then just, like, proceed with, like, the utmost joy. And, like, I had no idea that that was hard.

Leslie Johnston [00:43:45]:
Yeah.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:43:45]:
Until I did it this year. I was like, you and I don't even have kids yet, not even on the horizon. I'm like, you made this look so easy. And I'm so grateful for, like, that sacrifice. And I'm sorry for not noticing sooner, like, how much you sacrificed and put in, like, to her, that's joy. Like, she loved doing that for us. But at the same time, I was like, oh, my gosh. A lot of work, for sure.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:44:08]:
And it's for me and my husband. Like, it's not like, kids running around. I made frozen Chinese food for dinner. Like, it wasn't. It wasn't like, a great effort. Yeah. It was not that magical. It was like.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:44:19]:
I thought it was magical, but, like. Yeah, it was, like, not the magic that was being created for us. I was like, oh, my gosh. Like, it's so much harder. Yeah. You did it with such, like, ease and grace and that love. And, like, that's totally the father. That's like the shadow of what we get to experience.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:44:35]:
And that shadow is, like, so wonderful. Yeah. But I can't imagine, like, when we meet God face to face and, like, we get the full impact of. Oh. Even our best earthly relationships were just a shadow of what you have for us in eternity. Like, that's crazy to me.

Leslie Johnston [00:44:48]:
Yeah. What would you say? Like, what do you wish you could tell? Like, you as a married person now? What would you tell your single self of, like, hey, this. Like, is there anything different than you thought it would be or was. Did you ever feel like when you were single, it was almost like, oh, because I was looking forward to this so much. Like, did you ever feel like marriage could almost become, like, an idol a little bit?

Kristyn Hendrix [00:45:14]:
Oh, yeah. And even, like, if marriage in totality wasn't idol, there's, like, sections that are the aisle, you know, like, there's just a lot of components. But I think something that I worked hard for in singleness and now I'm so thankful for in marriage is, like, man, I realized pretty quickly that I wasn't gonna get married after college. So, like, that dream was out the window. And I was disappointed in that. But I was like, okay, well, I can either be. Cause I had friends who were like this. And this was like, my greatest fear is I didn't wanna be a sad single girl who just spent years waiting to get married, as if that was the only significant thing she was gonna do with her life.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:45:50]:
And don't get me wrong, I. It's such a special thing. But it's so funny to me how church culture and even, like, the world's culture kind of intersect on this one point, is that we idolize love in this way to the point where we think it's gonna be the end all, be all. And then you get it, and you're like, oh, you didn't cease to be a human being. And so I wanted to make sure that I spent my time well. And if that was 25 years being single, then, dude, was I gonna kill it and I was gonna use my time well. And if it was two years being single, then I was gonna kill it, and I was gonna use that time well. Because, honestly, as I look around at my friends, I've got some really awesome friends.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:46:24]:
Some of them are single, some of them are married. And the only ones I feel bad for are the ones who are moping around waiting to get married. I do feel bad for them because they're wasting so much time that God could use to do something really cool in their lives. And also, just, like, there's so much freedom that you have. Like, you can pick up and go, not that you're going to a different country, but you have the opportunity you can.

Morgan May Treuil [00:46:46]:
Yeah.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:46:47]:
Versus now. Like, I'm biblically called to, like, hey, I'm actually on, like, a covenant team, and I can't disappear or that's alarming. Like, that's not a good thing if I disappear.

Leslie Johnston [00:46:55]:
Yeah.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:46:56]:
And so that was something I worked really hard for, and there were seasons where that became unhealthy. Like, I almost weaponized my independence, but when I was in my most healthy state, I really wanted God to use that season, no matter how long it was. So whether it was doing student ministry, whether it was, like, investing in my time, like, pursuing knowledge and, like, learning or serving or helping out a friend, like, I had my own budget that I could use however I wanted to so I can financially fill in the gap for someone else and not really have to ask that many questions about it. Like, yeah. And I think that was huge, especially going into marriage, because it wasn't like, I didn't have anything to bring to the table. We really got to merge lives in a really cool way of. I was doing things that mattered to me. He was doing things that mattered to me.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:47:40]:
How can we merge these things together? And what are we gonna pursue together in our marriage from the things that we were both bringing in? Because it'd be weird if he was living, like, a really full life. And then I came in. I was like, I've been waiting for you. Yeah, that's what I've been. What have you been up to? I've just been waiting for you to get here. Now it's time to start. No, like, I wanted to bring a full life to my marriage, and now it's so fun to, like, merge our lives in that way. And, like, so I don't.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:48:08]:
That's so hard because I think it's so easy when you're single to get so discouraged in that, like, the. The time you have left. In theory, like, you got your eyes on the clock, essentially, like, okay, Lord, how much longer? How much longer? How much longer? But in reality, I think when you use your singleness well, there's actually parts of marriage that are a little harder. Like, when I was engaged and it, like, kind of solidified, became official, I was like, shoot. I love Grant more than anything in this world. Like, he is the greatest gift to me. And there were things that I was gonna give up, that I was gonna mourn, because I was proud of the way I used my singleness in that season, and I loved the way that my life was, and so giving that up to go into a partnership is such a blessing. But it was also, like, dang, there's parts I'm letting go of as I move into this covenant that I am gonna miss.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:48:53]:
Like, I am gonna miss that freedom. I am gonna miss the autonomy that I felt. And partnership is so sweet. So I don't want that to be anyone's messages. Like, I hate marriage. That's the farthest thing from the truth. But I think. And I've had multiple friends who experienced the same thing coming, like, getting married after being single, but doing a lot with their singleness is like, man, there's almost a mourning period for certain things because God did so much, and it was so cool to watch him do all these things.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:49:18]:
And God's gonna keep doing awesome things in marriage. But it's almost like when you use that season well, it's like a. I don't toss it away. Like, it's nothing. Like, no. Like, God did. Like, this season held weight in my life, and I'm proud of it.

Leslie Johnston [00:49:31]:
Yeah.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:49:32]:
And so I don't know. I would hope that for anyone, especially, like, a young Christian who, like, has so much.

Leslie Johnston [00:49:38]:
Yes.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:49:38]:
Or even an old Christian. Like, dude, there's just so much that God wants to do in whatever state you're in.

Morgan May Treuil [00:49:44]:
Yeah. Did you ever. Did you ever feel like. Because I. I think that's awesome. That's a great. That's a great aim for all kinds of people, all kinds of seasons. But especially in singleness, the whole, like, I want to do this really well.

Morgan May Treuil [00:49:56]:
I want to be found faithful in this season of my life and. And bring up, like, a whole life to a marriage, not just, like, a half life or a waiting life. Do you feel like when you would watch other people around you have different timelines than you did, do you feel like that would throw you off?

Kristyn Hendrix [00:50:12]:
Oh, me and God had multiple, like, powwows to rally for people because good for them is not bad for me. But that's really hard when you. And this is actually something I processed in counseling. I went to counseling for on and off for, like, two years now. And it's a wonderful space just to, like, process things. And that was something that shout out Courtney brought up was like, is that your counselor? Yeah. Oh, she's a queen. And she tells it to you straight.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:50:35]:
But she. I was kind of talking about, like, holding that tension of, like, I desperately want this. I'm watching everyone around me get it, and I don't know what to do. And she's like, you can hold like, that tension of desperately wanting something. You could plead with God for it and still make peace with the fact that you can't demand it, especially if you want to do it the way God wants it to happen. Like, if you're waiting on God's timing, you can't demand it. You wait patiently for it. And, like, you can hold, like that paradox can exist and God's not scared of that.

Morgan May Treuil [00:51:02]:
Yeah.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:51:03]:
And so I remember because all three of us as sisters got married essentially within two years, which is very.

Morgan May Treuil [00:51:08]:
Well, there is nothing more. More comparison. Challenging slash, like, makes you question if God has forgotten about you. Like, when the youngest sibling.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:51:19]:
That was a heinous crime. And yes, it actually really blessed me because.

Morgan May Treuil [00:51:23]:
Me too. It was a fantastic learning experience.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:51:27]:
It was so funny because Amanda gets engaged and Amanda was like, one and done, essentially only dated one person and, like, was.

Morgan May Treuil [00:51:33]:
Felt like the purest form of dating and relationships.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:51:37]:
Oh, yeah.

Morgan May Treuil [00:51:37]:
And it was, like, so preserved and just, like, awesome.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:51:41]:
It was per. It was absolutely right thing to do, right timing. Like, they had all of it.

Leslie Johnston [00:51:45]:
Yes.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:51:46]:
And Morgan at this point was dating Benji. Right. And I was like.

Morgan May Treuil [00:51:50]:
I wouldn't say it was, like, going well. I would say we didn't know where it was going or if it was going.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:51:57]:
But.

Morgan May Treuil [00:51:57]:
Yes.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:51:58]:
You had someone.

Morgan May Treuil [00:51:58]:
Yes.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:51:59]:
And I remember it occurring to me. I was like, my family, whom I adore and I'm really close to, is going to move on without me and create their own families and I'm going to be here.

Morgan May Treuil [00:52:08]:
Yeah.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:52:09]:
And like, that was the scariest thought to me. So, like, Amanda getting engaged was a wake up call, but it actually kind of blessed me because it threw everything out of order. So, like, now it didn't matter who got married.

Morgan May Treuil [00:52:18]:
Wait, you should. First, you should speak to the. Your first Christmas thing. Oh, like, this is very vulnerable. Sorry. If you want to. It's very.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:52:25]:
No, no, no, you're fine. I'm trying to remember what was my first Christmas.

Morgan May Treuil [00:52:27]:
Well, like, once everybody.

Leslie Johnston [00:52:30]:
Your first Christmas without them.

Morgan May Treuil [00:52:32]:
Like, like, like, it was like. No, there was no Grant. Amanda was married. I was not married, but I hadn't come home.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:52:39]:
Yeah.

Morgan May Treuil [00:52:39]:
I was doing Bayside Christmas stuff. So it was like you and mom and dad.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:52:44]:
Oh, yeah. And everyone. Like, first Christmas when it's different is kind of vulnerable for everyone.

Morgan May Treuil [00:52:49]:
We could have a whole thing about this.

Leslie Johnston [00:52:50]:
I missed that, too, and sucks.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:52:53]:
It is. It was very jarring. Grant not on the horizon yet, so I'm feeling very vulnerable at this point of life.

Morgan May Treuil [00:52:59]:
Yes.

Leslie Johnston [00:53:00]:
You're like, what the mom.

Morgan May Treuil [00:53:01]:
Mom called me. Mom's like, I got, like, a Lego set for Kristyn and I to do together. I got, like, all these puzzles. I'm making all these. She was, like, determined.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:53:11]:
We were determined to make Christmas.

Morgan May Treuil [00:53:13]:
Else was Christmas.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:53:14]:
She literally called me earlier in the year. She's like, hey, be honest with me. How are you doing? And it was, like, October when she called me, because that was when we realized that this is the first Christmas that I'm going to be the only kid. And there's, like, not even the redemptive storyline of, oh, I have a boyfriend. We're just spending, like, no, nothing. Like, like nothing. In fact, I think I'd even gone on, like, a really bad first date that week and was so traumatized from it that I was, like, in a really. I was in the Sunken place pretty deep.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:53:37]:
And she's like, shoot me straight. How are you doing? I'm like, I think I'm okay. I think I'm going to be okay. It might be weird. She's like, shooting on, like, do you want to go somewhere? Let's not be, like, if it's. If it will make us feel better.

Leslie Johnston [00:53:47]:
Why?

Kristyn Hendrix [00:53:47]:
Let's travel. Yeah. We actually contemplated, like, dang, are we going to Hawaii for Christmas? Because it's just going to be so annoying. And I remember me because Amanda is.

Morgan May Treuil [00:53:58]:
Married, and then now Chris is being treated like this prodigal daughter that is, like, going to Hawaii. And I'm just over here like, wait, I'm sorry, what?

Kristyn Hendrix [00:54:06]:
Oh, yeah. And every time, like, God was so sweet. I actually really remember that Christmas. And it was so, like, I had never been an only child because Morgan was obviously born first. So, like, she got two years, and then we both went to college. And Amanda had three years at home by herself, so I had never been home by myself. Yeah. And I was like, dang, this is kind of like, don't get me wrong.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:54:24]:
I miss y'. All. I was like, shoot, could we have been doing this the whole time?

Morgan May Treuil [00:54:27]:
Like, I was thinking, yeah, I was.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:54:29]:
Getting only child treatment as the only single one, which I really appreciated.

Leslie Johnston [00:54:32]:
Yeah.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:54:32]:
And then, like, fast forward a few months. You and Benji were fixing to get engaged. And I remember sitting in the airport in Dallas, actively praying, like, lord, I need you to help me rally. Because there's no one who's like, you've. You've been so faithful and you've earned it, and you deserve good things. And so I need to rally for my sister. But at this point, I know, like, in my head, I'M so, like, I know for a fact I'm dying alone. Like, that's like, oh, my gosh.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:54:57]:
Like, I've got a rally. This is how it ends. I'm actively looking into getting a motorcycle license and a pilot's license. Like, listen, mom was also really stressed about that. Don't worry. Didn't happen. But like, I was like, I'm doing something to be doing something. I need an activity.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:55:11]:
But I remember, like, really praying on the way to your engagement. And I was like, okay, Lord, like, I need you to fill in the gap here because I'm so scared. Yeah. Yeah. And I know I want this thing. And I'm proud of, like, it was that weird. Two hard things can exist at once. Of like, I desperately wanted this thing.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:55:27]:
And I was proud of the life I had created in Dallas. So it wasn't like I was sad in that sense.

Morgan May Treuil [00:55:31]:
Yeah.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:55:31]:
But I realized, like, oh, my family's gonna move on without me.

Leslie Johnston [00:55:34]:
Yeah.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:55:34]:
And that felt like they're building their own families for the first time. And both of the boys y' all married were so wonderful and sweet to me during that season. Of like, it never. I was never a third wheel. It was like we were always a five wheel vehicle is what it felt like. I literally went on a trip to California with you and Benji and Amanda and Cade. And it was like, that was just how it was supposed to be. Like, there was never supposed to be a six wheel.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:55:54]:
Like, they were so good to me in that way that it was never, ever weird. Thank God, because that would have been really hard if, like, yeah, it all sounds like it's Yalls family and I'm on the outside because I didn't have a counterpart. Like, that would have been really traumatic for me.

Leslie Johnston [00:56:08]:
Yes.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:56:09]:
And Yalls significant others were champions.

Leslie Johnston [00:56:12]:
Yes.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:56:12]:
And like, I think there was literally a time where me, Kaden, Benji were in the car and I was like, yeah, this is actually where I want to be. Like, I don't really care for mana boarding over here.

Leslie Johnston [00:56:20]:
Yeah.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:56:20]:
And it was really sweet.

Leslie Johnston [00:56:21]:
Yeah.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:56:22]:
But I remember thinking about that and then it's so funny because I think you had a six month engagement right within that time period. Met Grant, brought him to your wedding. Like, God ended up being really sweet in our timing, but I was really prepared for like, okay, this is gonna be it. And I'm going to champion my sister because good for her is not bad for me. Even though I desperately want this thing.

Leslie Johnston [00:56:43]:
Yes.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:56:44]:
And now looking back, I wouldn't change the timing for anything. I Love that I got to spend a good chunk of my young adulthood single and, like, got to build something and try new things and, like, for sure, build a life in Dallas.

Leslie Johnston [00:56:56]:
Yeah.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:56:56]:
I am so grateful that God brought me great when he did, because he was so right. I was not. I was so guarded and control freaky and so obsessed with avoiding regret and disappointment that I was not open to vulnerability in the way God wants it in marriage, honestly. And I didn't know that until he broke it down in me. Yeah. But now looking back, I'm like, oh, my gosh, if I could speak life into any of my single siblings in Christ, it's like, as much as the waiting season can feel almost, like, traumatic, and like you're on edge and you're so scared that God's cause, ultimately, it's a gift. It's not promised. But at the same time, God is so merciful and kind and he's so detail oriented that I just wouldn't change his timing for the world now that I'm on the other side of it.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:57:40]:
When I was on the single side, all I did was beg for him to change his timing. But now that I'm this, I'm like, oh, my gosh, thank God he didn't listen to me. Thank God he let this relationship, this date that I was really excited about crash and burn. Because compared to now, how I feel about Grant and also, like, the partner and the man, he is like, oh, thank God Everything else fell through. Yeah. And I think that's the same with like, even, like, friendships and people. You get to encounter, like, God's just work opportunities. Yeah, work opportunities.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:58:09]:
And also just, like, opportunities in life to minister the gospel and show up for people. I think there's just not a moment to be wasted. So, like, you can absolutely want a husband. You can pray for it. You can ask God, because that's a holy desire. Like, he's created us to live in community, and that's a sweet gift he gives us. And at the same time be like, no, but I'm gonna lean in now, and I'm like, I'm gonna live, like, as if this is it, then that's enough for me. And that's, like, a phrase that had to, like, I had to coach into my mind and, like, speak into my mind is like, lord, if this is all you give me, this is enough for me, because the goal is you, not a husband.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:58:43]:
At the end of the day, I feel like, especially as people who just know people, I've seen marriages where I'm Like. Like it feels worse or it looks worse, at least from somebody who's not in it to be lonely in a marriage than lonely. Not in a marriage like I bet they wish they would have.

Morgan May Treuil [00:59:01]:
Yes.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:59:01]:
Yeah. God's so redeeming. And we'll fix it.

Morgan May Treuil [00:59:05]:
She says that same thing.

Leslie Johnston [00:59:06]:
My mom says, it's better to be alone than wish you were alone.

Morgan May Treuil [00:59:09]:
Oh.

Leslie Johnston [00:59:10]:
And yeah, that's a sobering.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:59:13]:
That's true.

Leslie Johnston [00:59:13]:
Sobering thought.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:59:14]:
That's so sobering.

Leslie Johnston [00:59:15]:
Yeah.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:59:16]:
And at the end of the day, I think we can't fall into the idolization of love in that sense. It's such a sweet gift. But the love that will make us complete is the love we already have access to. Like, we already have access to Jesus. We already have access to the Holy Spirit. And when we're in eternity, we'll experience actual wholeness for the first time. And that'll be incredible. Yeah.

Kristyn Hendrix [00:59:34]:
And while Grant has been such a tool in my sanctification, the storyline of my life, the most impactful storyline isn't me and Grant's relationship. It's me and God's relationship. And that's the one that I want to lean into because at the end of the day, that's the only one that's gonna, like, Jesus is the only one who can save me. Yeah. Jesus is the only one who gives my life meaning. And so that's so good. I think if we lean into that, things feel a little more in perspective, even in marriage. Yeah.

Leslie Johnston [00:59:58]:
I think a lot of people feel like, oh, shoot, if I didn't get married out of college, I'm behind or.

Morgan May Treuil [01:00:03]:
Yeah.

Leslie Johnston [01:00:04]:
Oh, no, if I don't get married until this time, then I'll feel like everybody else has already been married for this long and I'm so behind. But I feel like if you use that season really, really well, which I'm going to be careful here. I don't think a prolonged season means, oh, God just doesn't think you're ready. Like, I don't think that's the case at all. Because you watch 100, like, nine times out of 10, the married people that are getting married are not ready.

Morgan May Treuil [01:00:29]:
Yeah.

Leslie Johnston [01:00:29]:
So I don't think it's about your qualification of being a wife or being a husband or whatever. I don't think that's the case at all. Or else everybody would have perfect marriages.

Kristyn Hendrix [01:00:39]:
And that's just not real.

Leslie Johnston [01:00:40]:
And that's definitely not real.

Morgan May Treuil [01:00:41]:
We would just never get married. Because to your point, it's like, it wasn't until you were allowed to reach your rock bottom. And then God was like, all right, now you're humble enough and know that it's not about you being perfect enough to get married. Like, yeah, if we had to measure up to be married, then none of us would ever get married because we would never measure up fully.

Leslie Johnston [01:00:59]:
Exactly. But I think you're not wasting time or it's not. You're not behind. I feel like you're actually ahead because I think my mom always talks about. She's like, when you're single, you have the most time to dig into your relationship with God. You get to figure out who you are. You get to actually even, like, you did, go to counseling, figure out things about yourself. The minute you add something to your life like a marriage, your time gets chopped in half.

Leslie Johnston [01:01:25]:
Then you have kids, your time even more in half. And then you get all the way down to, like, you maybe have a couple kids, you're married, you're trying to work, you're trying to this, and you have this much time. And she's like, if you have more time, or at least I think if you have more time before you get married, I think that puts you ahead in your marriage for sure. Like, I would. I would bet. Which, I don't know, you're in Grant's relationship very well, but I would bet you are so far ahead of where some people are who maybe got married right in college, which, again, you can marry in college, have a great relationship. But I do think spiritually, where you're at, where Grant's at, your guys's, like, maturity and your love and appreciation for each other. I just think sometimes God knows what he's doing.

Kristyn Hendrix [01:02:08]:
Yeah.

Leslie Johnston [01:02:09]:
You're not behind. You actually are ahead because you've had time to really work on those things.

Morgan May Treuil [01:02:14]:
Which is just so cool. That's a great perspective that you actually might be. You think it's behind. It actually might be ahead. Yes. But in God's economy and the way that he makes things work, he's outside of time.

Kristyn Hendrix [01:02:26]:
Yeah.

Morgan May Treuil [01:02:26]:
So he's. He's not just thinking about your right now. He's thinking, like, 10 years into the future at the same time.

Kristyn Hendrix [01:02:32]:
Yeah. Yeah.

Morgan May Treuil [01:02:34]:
What was the thing that you said? Because I think this is one of the practical hold ons, too, from this episode. It was the. You're allowed to feel disappointment over it. Not, like working the way you wanted it to, but it's the realization that you don't have control over the timing of it or something like that.

Kristyn Hendrix [01:02:50]:
Yeah. It was like it's like, how do I balance my desire for something while knowing I can't demand it?

Morgan May Treuil [01:02:58]:
Yes, the desire and the demand. And that's. That I think is a really cool thing to walk away from this episode with because, I mean, I can think of so many times in my life where it was like, I can try to coach myself and say all the right words to make the desire go away or to try to act like the desire isn't as powerful as it is. But that doesn't really work because if you want something, you want something. Whether you're, you're healthy and wanting something, or maybe you're unhealthy and wanting something, the want is still gonna want. Right. Until it's maybe replaced with something better, which God can do. Or it's brought into like a healthy, you know, a healthy faith filled level, I guess.

Morgan May Treuil [01:03:41]:
But I like the idea of like, yeah, the desire is allowed to be there. So if you're in a period of time where like you're, you're single and you're about to spend your first different Christmas and your whole family's moving on, or like, maybe people in your family are starting to have kids and you're the one that's not having kids yet, maybe it feels like you're in a friend group where everybody's got these professional milestones that they're marking and you're like, I still feel like I haven't even figured out career yet. Like, whatever. The thing is where you're looking around and you've got this desire for something more, you can't wish away the desire. And I don't even think that you should. I think it's fine that the desire is there. It's the reconciliation of like, I have this big desire, but I can't demand how God fulfills the desire. That has to be a God thing.

Morgan May Treuil [01:04:28]:
And I think holding those two things at the same time, that's the balance that you're trying to achieve.

Kristyn Hendrix [01:04:33]:
Yeah.

Morgan May Treuil [01:04:33]:
You're not getting rid of the desire or cursing yourself for the desire. You're saying, I have this desire, I want to honor the desire, but I'm also going to submit this desire to God's decision making. Not my demand for how it's going to be lived out or whatever, you know, or the timing of it, which I think is really cool. So, yeah, that's great, man.

Leslie Johnston [01:04:53]:
Kristyn, this has been awesome.

Morgan May Treuil [01:04:55]:
I know, it's been so fun.

Leslie Johnston [01:04:56]:
You should come here every month. I know you on the podcast.

Kristyn Hendrix [01:04:59]:
Count me in.

Morgan May Treuil [01:05:00]:
We didn't even get into any of the middle child stuff.

Kristyn Hendrix [01:05:02]:
And there's so much, so much content.

Morgan May Treuil [01:05:04]:
There's so much to unpack with middle child.

Leslie Johnston [01:05:06]:
You should totally do. Maybe we'll zoom you in. We do.

Morgan May Treuil [01:05:09]:
That would be so fun to do a middle child.

Leslie Johnston [01:05:11]:
Let's put a TV on that chair and just. I just appreciate you being so open and vulnerable about your story of, you know, everything up until now and your faithfulness to God. And I think you're such an example for people who are single and who are feeling in that, like, tough spot. But I feel like you actually lived that. Like, you were able to go, hey, I'm not excusing that this is hard. Like, this is hard, but I'm willing to make the best out of this situation. And I feel like that's so encouraging for people to hear, so.

Kristyn Hendrix [01:05:51]:
I know.

Morgan May Treuil [01:05:51]:
I love it. I love it so much. I was just thinking about how there was a time when your dog Millie would have gotten, like, such a great shout out on something like this because she was your whole life. And now there's so many other pieces to your life that you're, like, more passionate about than Millie. And she didn't even get mentioned on this podcast.

Leslie Johnston [01:06:09]:
And she's probably such a dog hater.

Kristyn Hendrix [01:06:11]:
What the heck?

Leslie Johnston [01:06:12]:
She's like, I'm so glad that you.

Kristyn Hendrix [01:06:13]:
Didn'T mention your dog on this episode.

Morgan May Treuil [01:06:15]:
No, I'm saying I think she should have because Millie was there for you in some of your tough times and you didn't even acknowledge her.

Kristyn Hendrix [01:06:21]:
Is the best emotional.

Morgan May Treuil [01:06:22]:
All you're saying is, like, this is my husband. This is my job. Who cares about my dog? Got me through years.

Kristyn Hendrix [01:06:29]:
Hot take. Because she's completely transferred her ownership to Grant.

Morgan May Treuil [01:06:32]:
Oh, no, she's not loyal. Dog's not loyal.

Leslie Johnston [01:06:34]:
These girls, they're not loyal.

Morgan May Treuil [01:06:36]:
These. These girls are not loyal.

Kristyn Hendrix [01:06:38]:
She walked like, he walks her once. And all of a sud sudden it's like, I'll tell her to go, like, hey, go load up. And she, like, looks at Grant to, like, affirm. I'm like, like, I didn't pull you off the streets of Texas getting your crate right now. Are you joking? But she loves having a boy in the house. She thinks it's so much fun.

Morgan May Treuil [01:06:54]:
Wait, I am very curious. We didn't get to get to this in one sentence very quickly. Can you just say what your unpopular opinion was going to be because we didn't talk about it.

Kristyn Hendrix [01:07:04]:
I've got to pick. I had three. If I'm being honest, you can say all of them.

Morgan May Treuil [01:07:07]:
Fast if you want to.

Kristyn Hendrix [01:07:07]:
I believe that chili is better if there's barbecue sauce on it. I don't like watching shows set in high school now because it really cringes me out. Specifically after watching Pretty Little Liars again. Like, I can't.

Morgan May Treuil [01:07:19]:
I just refinished watching.

Kristyn Hendrix [01:07:21]:
How did we do it the first time? Is the question.

Morgan May Treuil [01:07:23]:
I know. I'm just episode unpacking.

Leslie Johnston [01:07:27]:
Pretty Little Liars.

Morgan May Treuil [01:07:28]:
Yes. Because there are some crazy things.

Kristyn Hendrix [01:07:32]:
My butt. There was some wild stuff occurring that.

Morgan May Treuil [01:07:36]:
Was crazy, where this teacher is having a relationship with one of his students.

Kristyn Hendrix [01:07:40]:
And it's casual, and we're all rooting for it, and we all want it. We all wanted it. Yep.

Morgan May Treuil [01:07:44]:
I agree. We can't. Yeah.

Kristyn Hendrix [01:07:46]:
High school's over. We can't watch things.

Morgan May Treuil [01:07:47]:
I'm watching Gossip Girl right now for the first time. Watching Gossip Girl.

Kristyn Hendrix [01:07:51]:
That is a wild experience.

Morgan May Treuil [01:07:52]:
It's every.

Leslie Johnston [01:07:53]:
Every episode is, like, a whole season.

Kristyn Hendrix [01:07:57]:
Yeah.

Morgan May Treuil [01:07:57]:
Have you seen it, Kristyn? All the way through.

Kristyn Hendrix [01:07:58]:
I feel like I watched it over your shoulder. I feel like I watch a lot of shows that way where, like, we were living together at the time and you were watching it or mom was watching it.

Morgan May Treuil [01:08:05]:
Yeah.

Kristyn Hendrix [01:08:06]:
And I got 90% of the content, but I didn't actually sit down and watch it myself.

Morgan May Treuil [01:08:10]:
Yeah. Wait, what was your third popular opinion?

Kristyn Hendrix [01:08:13]:
I got to remember now. Maybe there's only two.

Morgan May Treuil [01:08:16]:
That's great. The barbecue sauce thing is weird, but you've always been, like, a sauce person. You're, like, adding sauce to things. You also put Bush's baked beans in your chili.

Kristyn Hendrix [01:08:25]:
I'm reformed now. That doesn't happen. But that didn't happen.

Leslie Johnston [01:08:28]:
Like, I'm elevated now.

Morgan May Treuil [01:08:29]:
I'm elevated.

Kristyn Hendrix [01:08:30]:
So funny. I've learned my ways. That was a youthful season.

Leslie Johnston [01:08:34]:
But I'm actually sad that going back to the Millie thing because she's all like. She's kind of got, like, a thing that makes her all wiggly and stuff.

Kristyn Hendrix [01:08:41]:
Yeah.

Leslie Johnston [01:08:41]:
I. I really want her to come on to this podcast at some point.

Morgan May Treuil [01:08:44]:
You'll be disappointed. She's also not as wiggly anymore.

Kristyn Hendrix [01:08:47]:
She doesn't bounce anymore.

Morgan May Treuil [01:08:48]:
I know. She's like, kind of a regular dog now. It doesn't really.

Leslie Johnston [01:08:50]:
She has, like. Doesn't she have, like, Tourette's?

Kristyn Hendrix [01:08:53]:
Dude, it kind of felt like it. She basically, long story short, got everything that you vaccinate dogs for, and one of them is. It's like Parvo is one of them, and then distempers the other. And distemper. I'm not a vet, so don't quote me, but apparently it's similar to, like, meningitis in humans, that it makes your brain hot so that a lot of dogs get neurological side effects. And so she, like, had a twitch that was like, she bounced every time she's relaxed. So, like, if she's walking or running, you don't see it, but if she's, like, sleeping, she's sitting, laying there, and she's twitching. No, literally, it's like her legs and her head.

Morgan May Treuil [01:09:23]:
If you put on the right song, she'd sync up. It's honestly, really.

Leslie Johnston [01:09:26]:
I need you to send a video.

Morgan May Treuil [01:09:28]:
Of her doing that to a song video.

Kristyn Hendrix [01:09:31]:
I made a playlist of songs that she'd sync up to. And so, like, through college, that was, like, part of the fun.

Morgan May Treuil [01:09:36]:
That's so, so funny.

Leslie Johnston [01:09:38]:
Oh, my gosh. Well, this may be our longest episode ever, because we love talking to.

Morgan May Treuil [01:09:42]:
I love you guys.

Kristyn Hendrix [01:09:43]:
Fun. Come back anytime that I'm moving here.

Morgan May Treuil [01:09:47]:
Thanks for joining us on Am I Doing this Right. Please leave your comments in the Spotify section of comments because we read them and. And then also follow us on Instagram at Am I Doing this Right? And make sure that you engage with us on that platform as well. And we will see you guys next week on Am I Doing this right.