How to be yourself in a new relationship & other things guys are actually looking for feat. Jake

Leslie [00:00:00]:
Welcome back, everybody. Welcome back to Am I Doing This Right?

Morgan May Treuil [00:00:04]:
Welcome back, people. Am I Doing This Right?

Jake Masseter [00:00:07]:
I don't like a hijacker.

Leslie [00:00:08]:
Yeah.

Morgan May Treuil [00:00:09]:
What?

Jake Masseter [00:00:09]:
You're hijacking it.

Leslie [00:00:10]:
Jake's like, I've been saying welcome back. Wait, how many times has Jake been on the podcast? This has got one, two, too many. Too many to count.

Jake Masseter [00:00:19]:
One, two, two. This has got to be your fourth time.

Leslie [00:00:20]:
I'm just kidding.

Morgan May Treuil [00:00:21]:
Is it really?

Jake Masseter [00:00:21]:
Yep. It's got to be your fourth time on the podcast. Maybe fifth. You and Christy are our most had-on guests. And I think Chrissy's been on 4 times. Yes. I think this is either your 4th or your 5th.

Morgan May Treuil [00:00:33]:
Mm-hmm.

Leslie [00:00:34]:
So, and we bring you back because the listeners love you, not because we do.

Morgan May Treuil [00:00:38]:
Yeah. I was gonna say, not cuz we know, we love you too.

Jake Masseter [00:00:42]:
We can't say we do. We actually do think to encourage you, you are one of the most wise, chaotic people that we know. And therefore, thank you. We have to expose you to the world.

Leslie [00:00:52]:
It's chaos sprinkled with a little bit of wise in there.

Jake Masseter [00:00:56]:
Yeah. That's so true.

Leslie [00:00:57]:
No, Jake, thanks for coming on the podcast. Thanks for bearing your soul on these podcasts. Yes, you really lay it all out there.

Jake Masseter [00:01:03]:
You do.

Morgan May Treuil [00:01:03]:
I'm an honest guy. I'm an honest guy.

Leslie [00:01:05]:
We— I mean, we'll explain why you're really on the podcast in just a second, but I do feel like we've seen you in a lot of different phases. Yes, in this podcast.

Jake Masseter [00:01:14]:
Yeah, but we should finish— we should finish the conversation we were— so we could finish the conversation we were just having in lieu of your unpopular opinion and make that your unpopular opinion if you want.

Morgan May Treuil [00:01:24]:
It's not an unpopular opinion.

Jake Masseter [00:01:26]:
Okay, so explain the debate. To, to me, because I wasn't there. Either one of you.

Morgan May Treuil [00:01:30]:
Oh, there was no debate. Okay, we were—

Leslie [00:01:34]:
we won't explain the exact context of the debate, but the idea is— the idea is Jake thinks that we—

Jake Masseter [00:01:42]:
oh, you want to do fun things?

Leslie [00:01:44]:
Oh, oh, okay, was what I was talking about. Oh, I thought you were gonna say Jake's calling us out for always embellishing what happened.

Jake Masseter [00:01:52]:
We can talk about that because we're not— we're not embellishing. Jake and I, by the way, just so you know, Jake and I, to this day, Yeah, to this day have a disagreement about the way that something happened. I'm not gonna say details, okay? But to this day, disagreement about the way that a certain conversation happened, and literally both of us believe that it happened in one particular way that the other person is saying.

Leslie [00:02:19]:
Was this the one that I, I actually heard it too, or am I wrong?

Morgan May Treuil [00:02:24]:
No, you heard it at a different Yes, it was who said what, and I thought she said something and she said no.

Leslie [00:02:28]:
And I agreed with you because I heard that. Yes, but I don't remember what it was. Yeah, I wish I remember. I remember.

Jake Masseter [00:02:35]:
We're all on a golf course and Jake said something that I'm 1,000% sure that he said because Benji heard him say it too. And then Jake to this day denies that he ever said that.

Morgan May Treuil [00:02:46]:
Basically a rumor got started.

Jake Masseter [00:02:48]:
No, he says not only did he not say it, he says that I said it. When literally we're on this golf course and I hear him say—

Morgan May Treuil [00:02:55]:
and he thinks again, this again is flooding into our previous argument where I think y'all embellish and change stories and words so much that it's hard to keep track of.

Jake Masseter [00:03:07]:
That's really, that's really good for the listeners to know that we are, I don't know, liars. That's awesome.

Morgan May Treuil [00:03:12]:
How can I make this the most dramatic?

Leslie [00:03:14]:
Are you looping me in too with that?

Jake Masseter [00:03:20]:
You're saying that?

Morgan May Treuil [00:03:20]:
Let me ask you a question.

Leslie [00:03:23]:
Let me ask you a question.

Jake Masseter [00:03:23]:
She's saying that. She says that I do that.

Leslie [00:03:24]:
I would say I'm fairly like— my stories most of the time are really accurate.

Jake Masseter [00:03:29]:
I just want things to be as entertaining and captivating as possible. I'm not trying to lie.

Morgan May Treuil [00:03:35]:
Would you agree with that? You are— you're not— I'm not saying you guys change the truths. I'm saying that you add certain words and maybe dramatics into a story to give it—

Leslie [00:03:45]:
you have to understand.

Jake Masseter [00:03:46]:
I do that. I'll own it.

Leslie [00:03:47]:
You have to understand.

Morgan May Treuil [00:03:47]:
Will Leslie own it?

Leslie [00:03:48]:
There is there is telling a story. It's— there's telling— you know, people are like, this is my side of the story, and then you're like, this is their side of the story, and then there's the truth, and then there's the story that captivates a room.

Morgan May Treuil [00:04:04]:
Yes, this comes up most times. I asked you, would you kill your dog for $10 million? And you said no. Absolutely not. And then you asked me, I said For the winning Powerball ticket, you would kill my dog. I would, as long as no one knew. Oh, for the winning Powerball ticket, I could change so many lives that I would think about it. The next day at church, what are you telling everyone?

Leslie [00:04:26]:
That you would kill my dog for $10 million?

Morgan May Treuil [00:04:28]:
Jake said he'd kill my dog for free.

Jake Masseter [00:04:29]:
But you said you would think about it.

Leslie [00:04:31]:
I don't— I did not say for free.

Morgan May Treuil [00:04:32]:
Literally, you're like, I actually—

Leslie [00:04:34]:
this is Jake.

Jake Masseter [00:04:34]:
No, no, no, no, no. He thinks that we do. He has a, he has a memory problem, like an actual clinically diagnosed memory problem. So no one can even trust you because you don't remember anything that you say or anyone else says.

Leslie [00:04:48]:
I like that this is turning into a soap opera.

Morgan May Treuil [00:04:49]:
Were we not backstage when I think your exact phrase was, Jake said he'd kill my dog, period?

Leslie [00:04:55]:
Well, you would.

Morgan May Treuil [00:04:56]:
But is that—

Leslie [00:04:57]:
is that— is that not the truth though?

Jake Masseter [00:05:00]:
Why is it—

Morgan May Treuil [00:05:01]:
feel like you're saying— are you saying—

Leslie [00:05:02]:
I'm still upset that you would kill my dog for $10 million for multiple reasons. Number one, I love my dog. You're going to take The one thing that I just, you know, deeply care for— actually, there's lots.

Morgan May Treuil [00:05:13]:
I actually don't even think that was your argument.

Jake Masseter [00:05:16]:
She also cares for other things.

Leslie [00:05:18]:
You would murder—

Morgan May Treuil [00:05:19]:
hold on. Okay.

Leslie [00:05:20]:
And even the fact that you would do it if nobody knew is even worse.

Jake Masseter [00:05:24]:
You're gonna be shady about it.

Leslie [00:05:26]:
You're gonna be shady, and then I'm supposed to what, just be like—

Morgan May Treuil [00:05:29]:
because the relationship, our friendship, is not worth that money. Wait, let me think.

Leslie [00:05:34]:
No, you just said it. Yeah, you said it was because you would kill.

Morgan May Treuil [00:05:37]:
It would be relational death. With everyone. I feel like all the girls in our friend group would—

Leslie [00:05:41]:
no, everyone would hate me.

Morgan May Treuil [00:05:42]:
Did I cave for the rest of the world? You know who I hate? Jake Masseter. Yeah, because he killed the dog. So if everyone knew it was me, I wouldn't do it. I think the conversation— I— and correct me if I'm wrong— I asked you, would you give your dog away to another loving home for the winning Powerball ticket? And that's where you said— that's where I was like, yeah, I'd take the dog and give it to— I'd steal your dog and give it to a loving home.

Leslie [00:06:05]:
Kill my dog?

Jake Masseter [00:06:06]:
See, this is wild because which one was it?

Leslie [00:06:08]:
It's mine. It's my version of the story.

Jake Masseter [00:06:10]:
I believe you because this has happened to me before. So he's saying that we embellish. Maybe that's true.

Morgan May Treuil [00:06:15]:
Ask me that question.

Jake Masseter [00:06:15]:
Not embellish.

Morgan May Treuil [00:06:16]:
Ask me the question.

Jake Masseter [00:06:17]:
No, because it doesn't matter.

Leslie [00:06:18]:
No, because what you said before, you would kill my dog. Would you kill my dog for $100,000 or whatever our money was?

Morgan May Treuil [00:06:27]:
The winning Powerball ticket of—

Leslie [00:06:28]:
sorry, the winning Powerball ticket. Would you kill my dog to get yourself the winning Powerball ticket for $2 billion?

Jake Masseter [00:06:34]:
Yes.

Morgan May Treuil [00:06:34]:
Yeah, I'd severely think about it. I'd absolutely be thinking about it.

Leslie [00:06:38]:
To me, I just don't, I just don't think there's any amount of money that could convince me to first of all kill some, yeah, take a life, kill something that I, I really love. I would never kill something that you really love for winning Powerball ticket because living with myself with $2 billion would still not be worth it to me. But not all of us have the maturity and the, and I had a dog, love for life and the ethics.

Morgan May Treuil [00:07:03]:
If I had a dog and you came to me, said, Jake, if you let me kill your dog, I can give all the people in Africa clean drinking water, I would say dirty money. Then it's not—

Leslie [00:07:12]:
it's dirty money because you killed the dog.

Morgan May Treuil [00:07:14]:
Think of how many lives you could change with $2 billion.

Leslie [00:07:17]:
No, I think you just want to kill a dog.

Jake Masseter [00:07:19]:
But here's, here's— but, but going, but going back to the origins of this, this is what the podcast is about, by the way. You think that we add certain flair to the truth in order to make it entertaining.

Morgan May Treuil [00:07:33]:
I don't think that you factually agreed, and Leslie would—

Jake Masseter [00:07:36]:
well, Leslie thinks— Leslie doesn't think she does it. Leslie thinks that I do that.

Morgan May Treuil [00:07:39]:
Do you do it? Do you add flair to stories?

Leslie [00:07:42]:
I would say I do not change the truth, but when the situation calls—

Morgan May Treuil [00:07:48]:
yeah, okay.

Leslie [00:07:49]:
So no, I don't think I embellish the truth that much. With you, Jake, I do because you're so extreme.

Morgan May Treuil [00:07:54]:
Yes.

Jake Masseter [00:07:54]:
Does it make it all believable?

Leslie [00:07:56]:
That sometimes I, for fun, will be like— like the other day, he tells my mom 'Your outfit is sleazy.' But when he says it, her face looks like so weird because why would she go—

Jake Masseter [00:08:08]:
what that means—

Leslie [00:08:09]:
she goes, 'You said my outfit looks slutty.' Was it slutty? That's what she said.

Jake Masseter [00:08:14]:
She's like, 'No, sleazy.

Leslie [00:08:15]:
Y'all said sleazy.' Oh, sorry, sorry, sleazy. She goes, 'Sleazy?' Yeah. And, and so then for fun, I send on our friend group text, I go, 'Jake just called my mom sleazy,' and everybody's like in an uproar. Because that's fun and that's funny, that's entertaining.

Morgan May Treuil [00:08:33]:
Literally. But that's actually— it's not even like you're bending the truth, that's just a flat-out lie.

Jake Masseter [00:08:39]:
Okay, so let's say that you're right. We tend to, um, does it make life more fun with you guys? We add jewelry to the story. But if that's true, then here's what you do. You literally don't remember anything that you have said, and therefore you are a liar. Because you will go to your grave saying that you didn't or did say something that you didn't.

Morgan May Treuil [00:09:01]:
There's some things I—

Jake Masseter [00:09:01]:
And it's not even intentional because you have a memory problem. And we'll pray for you.

Morgan May Treuil [00:09:05]:
Okay, is it my turn?

Jake Masseter [00:09:07]:
No, we're moving on now. This isn't your podcast.

Leslie [00:09:10]:
Oh, you want to know something Jake said last night? He goes— About me? No, no, no, not about you. The other, last night at small group, he's like, yeah, I just don't think I have the DNA that needs to sleep like 8 hours.

Jake Masseter [00:09:21]:
Oh, I heard him say that.

Leslie [00:09:23]:
Oh wait, you were there.

Jake Masseter [00:09:24]:
Thank you for that. I did hear him say that. And what'd you say? You were like, I said, I don't think that's a DNA thing, people.

Leslie [00:09:30]:
That's a DNA thing. I think you need— you might actually more so need 8 hours than anyone else.

Morgan May Treuil [00:09:36]:
It wasn't like I don't— it was like getting 8 hours of sleep is not something that's been wired in my DNA.

Leslie [00:09:42]:
It is though.

Morgan May Treuil [00:09:43]:
But it wasn't— it wasn't like a— again, that was— I was speaking in hyperbole of like, that's not something—

Leslie [00:09:49]:
that's what we're just trying to do. We're just trying.

Jake Masseter [00:09:51]:
Yeah. So our unpopular opinion on this episode is that lying is fun. No, no, no, no, no. Not lying is fun. Adding the truth in certain non-serious instances with a little bit of flair can be entertainment.

Leslie [00:10:07]:
Yeah, I think you have to add like a just kidding. But yeah, I'm big on the truth.

Jake Masseter [00:10:11]:
But oh, well, yeah, we're just messing around. Yeah, we're just like, if it was a really serious thing, I would never add like flair.

Leslie [00:10:18]:
Oh, this flair. Yeah, yeah.

Morgan May Treuil [00:10:20]:
No.

Jake Masseter [00:10:20]:
Yeah.

Morgan May Treuil [00:10:20]:
But when you have the opportunity to like poke fun at someone in the friend group a little bit. Might as well use it to the max, right? Is what you guys are saying.

Leslie [00:10:30]:
He's trying to catch us.

Jake Masseter [00:10:31]:
I don't know what we're saying anymore.

Leslie [00:10:32]:
Yeah, I don't really know anymore.

Jake Masseter [00:10:33]:
Okay, Jake, it's so great to have you. Yeah, it's great to have you back.

Leslie [00:10:36]:
If anyone's still listening, we're, um, yeah, we do have some conversations today. Jake, what's your unpopular opinion you're bringing? You've had 4 before, or you— this is your 4th.

Morgan May Treuil [00:10:46]:
This is my 4th unpopular opinion. Yeah, man, it's running— I'm running out of them. Um, unpopular opinion, I got to think of one on this. Netflix is trash. Netflix is absolutely garbage.

Leslie [00:11:04]:
What is your—

Jake Masseter [00:11:04]:
for what reason? What's your streaming that you use?

Morgan May Treuil [00:11:07]:
Uh, illegal streaming sites, I think I like a lot.

Leslie [00:11:10]:
Is it 123 Movies or whatever?

Morgan May Treuil [00:11:12]:
Sure, that'll work. Love that one.

Jake Masseter [00:11:15]:
Where is that?

Morgan May Treuil [00:11:16]:
It feels like I'm paying for a bunch of Netflix movies.

Jake Masseter [00:11:18]:
No one uses that.

Morgan May Treuil [00:11:20]:
Blockbuster movies aren't on there. Good movies and TV shows aren't on there. And I just don't like it anymore.

Jake Masseter [00:11:26]:
Remember when Netflix used to be the hub for everything? Like every show was on it. And then I feel like over the course of time, everybody started getting their own streaming sites, every network.

Morgan May Treuil [00:11:37]:
And I can't find what I want to watch on Netflix, right? Ever.

Jake Masseter [00:11:39]:
Well, it's a lot of Netflix originals too. Like it's almost like they're functioning as their own production company. Yeah.

Leslie [00:11:45]:
Yeah. And which actually they're pretty good sometimes. Some of them are really good original movies. I don't think So they cater to my taste.

Jake Masseter [00:11:51]:
Yeah, maybe sometimes they do. And then some, like Bird Box, that was a Netflix, um, oh, special.

Morgan May Treuil [00:11:58]:
Yeah, Bird Box, scary. Which one was that?

Jake Masseter [00:12:01]:
Remember with Sandra Bullock? And it's like the world is taken over by these monsters, birds.

Morgan May Treuil [00:12:06]:
Yeah, that was garbage.

Jake Masseter [00:12:08]:
No, it wasn't.

Morgan May Treuil [00:12:09]:
That's fine.

Jake Masseter [00:12:10]:
Wow. Okay, anyways, yeah, um, tell us why you're here.

Morgan May Treuil [00:12:18]:
I'm here because—

Jake Masseter [00:12:19]:
because I guess of a, of a, of a huge monumental, monumental earth-shattering announcement.

Morgan May Treuil [00:12:28]:
Yeah, uh, I have a girlfriend, like a real girlfriend, not just like a real— she's a real girl, she's a real girl, like, uh, one that's gonna last. One that's going to last.

Jake Masseter [00:12:42]:
That's crazy. That's a crazy thing to come on a podcast and say.

Morgan May Treuil [00:12:44]:
You all see me in a lot of, like, single and a lot of, like, dating people. Yeah, I have a girlfriend that's going to last.

Leslie [00:12:54]:
This is awesome. Jake, you know what I love is that I think your first time on the podcast, you were single.

Morgan May Treuil [00:13:00]:
Single. That's where my memory is going to come into effect.

Jake Masseter [00:13:02]:
Here's Jake.

Leslie [00:13:03]:
There's single, single, and then there's, like, single but talking to someone. Then I think one of the podcasts, I think you were talking to someone at that point, but it wasn't like a thing.

Morgan May Treuil [00:13:12]:
I do know, because—

Leslie [00:13:14]:
yes, yes. And then I think the other podcast you were fresh out of a dating relationship.

Jake Masseter [00:13:21]:
Yeah.

Leslie [00:13:21]:
And then now you're here and you're dating someone.

Jake Masseter [00:13:24]:
Yeah. And when we've had you on in the past, a huge part of our content with you has been about singleness and dating. Not dating as in like being in relationships, but, but just like casually dating. So I feel like you're kind of like our resident bachelor and now you're no longer, well, you're not married, but you're no longer in like bachelor status mode. You're like, I agree.

Leslie [00:13:46]:
And a lot of girls in our DMs are gonna be upset about this.

Jake Masseter [00:13:48]:
They're gonna be so mad. That's, so we need to have you on because I feel like this is one of those points in relationships where I'm, I would be, I would be curious and I'm sure listeners would be curious to hear a couple of things. A, what sort of like shifted and changed? Cause because we know you very well and we know that you are honestly fairly content with single life.

Morgan May Treuil [00:14:12]:
Love it.

Jake Masseter [00:14:13]:
Like, honestly, you were not— you were not one of those people that was like wishing for and waiting for a relationship. You were living life, you were working really hard, socially having a ton of fun. So I think we'd be curious if any of my bosses are working this—

Morgan May Treuil [00:14:25]:
I still work very hard.

Jake Masseter [00:14:26]:
Yeah, you still— yeah, yeah. I'm just saying, like, you had all this like single guy time to give to—

Leslie [00:14:32]:
yeah.

Jake Masseter [00:14:33]:
Ministry, and then also just like fun and friends. And you still do all those things, that's not what I'm saying, but it's just a different— it's a different season now. So I'm curious to know on your end what shifted and changed to make this the right time to like— you're not fully settled down, but you're starting to settle. And also we want to know like what, what are the things about this particular person where you're like, oh man, I'm ready to like be in this relationship, I'm ready to commit. So this is educational whether you're a guy or girl listening to this, I would say those are two similar questions to me.

Morgan May Treuil [00:15:06]:
Nothing about my life or my circumstances or my desires changed with like when it— when I went into this relationship dating this girl. My life was still very busy. I still— yeah, it was actually like a small group leader, one of our small group leaders at church came up to me. Bella Davis-Smith, if you're listening, shout you out. She came up to me and she's like, uh, hey, I— you should go on a blind date with my friend. And I'm like, ah, I thought I'd never be a blind date person, right? And so I said no.

Jake Masseter [00:15:34]:
Very risky. Yeah, yeah, risky.

Morgan May Treuil [00:15:37]:
It's a risk. Yes, you guys know me, you guys know me. It's— I wear my— I wear my emotion. Like, people know what I'm thinking, right?

Jake Masseter [00:15:45]:
So you walk into the blind date and they know if you are thrilled or not thrilled.

Morgan May Treuil [00:15:50]:
I'm the worst person to go on a blind date with because if I walk in and I'm I make up my mind quick that it's going to be a no. I'll just be like, hey, there's no point in me trying to pretend here. Nice to meet you. I'll buy your coffee. And then we'll just—

Leslie [00:16:03]:
I think we talked to you the night before you went on this blind date and you said— we were like, okay, we have your— we obviously all have each other's locations, but we're like, okay, if you're still on the date for how long, like, is it going well or when are you going to like bounce if it's not going well so that we can track your location?

Morgan May Treuil [00:16:20]:
I think I said like 30 to 45 minutes.

Jake Masseter [00:16:24]:
The—

Morgan May Treuil [00:16:24]:
what I said earlier was a little bit of a joke. I would never go and just bounce out. I said no, I will give it 30 or 45 minutes at the bare minimum.

Leslie [00:16:31]:
No, Jake, you said this is one of those things you're changing your answer because I remember being like, what? You were like, if I'm there past 25 minutes, it's going really well. And I was like, you're gonna go on a date for like, no, I know I didn't say that.

Morgan May Treuil [00:16:49]:
I know I said if I'm there past 25 minutes, it's not going bad. If I— like, my whole thing was this, and even in where I picked and what I picked to do, I was like, I picked a coffee shop in Folsom where it's like, if it's going well, we'll go from the coffee shop, then we'll go on a walk. If it's going— if it's still going well, we'll go out to lunch. Like, I had— yeah, we'll go to the farmer's market. There was multiple steps where I'm like multiple, I would say, exit points.

Jake Masseter [00:17:16]:
Potential buildable date.

Morgan May Treuil [00:17:16]:
Yeah. And so I was like, if we just go to coffee for 30 minutes or less, it didn't go well.

Leslie [00:17:23]:
Yeah.

Morgan May Treuil [00:17:24]:
And if we, the longer, the more time we spend after that, it's like another building block. It's going better. Oh, he's going from the farmer's market to a walk. It must be going better.

Leslie [00:17:33]:
Yeah.

Morgan May Treuil [00:17:33]:
Oh, he's going from the farmer's market to a walk to a restaurant. It's safe to say it's going pretty good. Okay, this is good. I think we hung out for like 7 hours.

Jake Masseter [00:17:42]:
It— on your first date?

Morgan May Treuil [00:17:43]:
Yeah.

Jake Masseter [00:17:43]:
So is your advice that that's how people should date? Like schedule things in small increments of time so that you either have an out, or, um, do you— like, what, what would be your advice for that so that there's an easy escape?

Morgan May Treuil [00:17:59]:
I would say absolutely. Like, if you're the guy, one, plan a date. Like, be thoughtful in planning a date. I knew she liked coffee. I knew what her favorite coffee shop was.

Jake Masseter [00:18:07]:
Had you talked to her before this date? Like, had you texted with her?

Morgan May Treuil [00:18:10]:
I texted her.

Jake Masseter [00:18:11]:
Texted her like once? Or y'all had been texting?

Morgan May Treuil [00:18:14]:
Uh, definitely not been texting. Maybe 2 to 3 messages from me going—

Jake Masseter [00:18:19]:
So this was a fully like, we don't know each other, we've had zero experiences together, we are like—

Leslie [00:18:25]:
This is truly kind of a blind—

Morgan May Treuil [00:18:27]:
I mean, you might have seen each other's socials, but for the most part, socials Yeah, I saw her socials and she saw my socials, which her feedback was, your socials need to be updated.

Jake Masseter [00:18:36]:
She's like, yeah.

Morgan May Treuil [00:18:38]:
Bella was like, I try. And the girl who set us up, she's like, your Instagram is terrible. We need to work on this.

Leslie [00:18:43]:
But honestly, that's a green flag for a lot of girls.

Morgan May Treuil [00:18:45]:
Emily didn't say that. Like, Emily didn't care. But Bella, the girl who set me up, was like, your Instagram's terrible.

Leslie [00:18:51]:
She's like, help me help you.

Jake Masseter [00:18:52]:
When you try to show somebody to somebody else and you're like, okay, their Instagram doesn't— like, yeah, you're like, okay, you can't really judge them.

Morgan May Treuil [00:18:59]:
Trying to show someone Benji.

Jake Masseter [00:19:01]:
On Instagram.

Morgan May Treuil [00:19:02]:
Yeah.

Jake Masseter [00:19:03]:
Yeah. I think when Leslie and Michael tried to set me up with Benji, they were like, don't look at his Instagram. Just trust us.

Leslie [00:19:08]:
We're like, actually, please go the other direction.

Jake Masseter [00:19:10]:
Just, yes.

Leslie [00:19:10]:
We're gonna act like this doesn't exist.

Jake Masseter [00:19:12]:
But I did look at his Instagram and the only photo I could find was a photo of him in a wedding party and he had stretched himself out to be really tall as a joke. And I was like, who is this person?

Leslie [00:19:21]:
This is not Benji. And if you go on Benji's Instagram to this day, that will probably be the latest photo.

Jake Masseter [00:19:24]:
Oh yeah. He has, yeah. It hasn't updated that he has a wife or a child.

Leslie [00:19:28]:
Yeah.

Jake Masseter [00:19:28]:
Ever.

Leslie [00:19:28]:
He said he'll do it on his third.

Jake Masseter [00:19:31]:
That's what he said. That's so funny.

Leslie [00:19:33]:
He said, when I'm a third kid, I think I'll post.

Jake Masseter [00:19:35]:
That's hilarious. Um, okay. Okay. So you're on a date.

Leslie [00:19:38]:
Yes. So you go, you go on a first date.

Morgan May Treuil [00:19:40]:
Yep.

Leslie [00:19:40]:
Now went great. Obviously, like, okay, now you're dating and you're super excited, but walk us through like, okay, first date, were you at all like, because you're, I wouldn't say you are a, you're a very charismatic person, but I don't think you're an early adopter to things. Like, I don't think you jump in.

Morgan May Treuil [00:19:59]:
Yeah, I have hesitancies for sure.

Leslie [00:20:01]:
Super both feet first, whatever.

Morgan May Treuil [00:20:04]:
So actually explain to us, probably with all areas of my life I do, except for dating.

Leslie [00:20:08]:
Yeah.

Morgan May Treuil [00:20:08]:
I'm very hesitant when it comes to dating.

Leslie [00:20:10]:
You've— we have never seen you with any girl be like, this is the one. This is, you know, like any of those conversations. So walk us through like the first couple dates, cuz I think it's helpful for people to go, okay, I go on a blind date. Most people give only people one shot.

Jake Masseter [00:20:27]:
Yes.

Leslie [00:20:28]:
And then they say yes or no, or most of the time it's no because they're like, they're just think— overthinking everything. Yeah. And people on a first date tend to like— at least I know from first dates, people are never fully themselves, so it's hard to know. So what was your experience like through this, the dating process?

Morgan May Treuil [00:20:47]:
First date, had a lot of fun. I think there were some, definitely some reservations. So like, I always have reservations. I'm just a hesitant person. And, um, but I had more fun hanging out with her, one, than I ever thought I would, and two, probably than most of the other dates I've been on. Like, I was like, oh my gosh, that was 7 hours. That was— it just— time flew. And I remember one of the earlier podcasts I did, what are you looking for on a date? I'm like, to click and to have fun and time to fly.

Jake Masseter [00:21:17]:
Yeah.

Morgan May Treuil [00:21:17]:
And so it felt like that. Yeah, and so that was great, uh, and then afterwards I was like, yeah, it was so clear, it's like a second date is in the future.

Jake Masseter [00:21:27]:
Like, on the first date, are you thinking, yeah, we'll go on a second date?

Morgan May Treuil [00:21:33]:
Um, no, I'm probably not thinking that on the— but as soon as I get my car afterwards, I'm like, yeah, if you gave me the option right now of never seeing her again or going on a second date, it's not even close.

Jake Masseter [00:21:40]:
Yeah. Okay, so I feel like there are girl listeners for sure, maybe guys, but I only know the girl perspective that are, that are asking this question. When we're on the first date, is he, is he mentally thinking of all the things that are working or are not working, or is he just doing a vibe check? And you kind of said this, you like got to the end of it and you're like, that was really fun. But on the date, yeah, are you assessing like pros and cons of certain things, or are you just like vibe checking to see was this fun? Because people get in their heads about that a lot. Oh yeah, when they're like, they're on every other date I've been on. Yes.

Morgan May Treuil [00:22:16]:
I'm thinking to myself usually all the things I don't like or all the ways in which I could foresee this not working.

Jake Masseter [00:22:22]:
Okay.

Morgan May Treuil [00:22:23]:
And all the reasons to not go on a second date.

Jake Masseter [00:22:26]:
Okay.

Morgan May Treuil [00:22:26]:
Except for my first date with Emily.

Jake Masseter [00:22:28]:
You're like not even thinking about that, you're just having fun.

Morgan May Treuil [00:22:30]:
Yeah, just having fun.

Jake Masseter [00:22:32]:
It's pretty sweet.

Morgan May Treuil [00:22:34]:
Yeah, it was a great— it was— I was like, oh, that was—

Jake Masseter [00:22:36]:
what, what do you think made that change? Like what about that, this situation made it just who she was?

Morgan May Treuil [00:22:43]:
She was just easy to talk to, easy to have conversations with, I think. Yeah, I would just say it just felt easy to talk to her, like we just clicked well.

Leslie [00:22:52]:
Yeah.

Jake Masseter [00:22:53]:
Okay.

Morgan May Treuil [00:22:54]:
She likes college football, which was fun.

Jake Masseter [00:22:56]:
She likes what?

Morgan May Treuil [00:22:56]:
College football, right?

Jake Masseter [00:22:59]:
Oh, there's a Roll Tide girl.

Morgan May Treuil [00:23:00]:
Yeah, yeah.

Jake Masseter [00:23:01]:
Girls are like—

Morgan May Treuil [00:23:02]:
but not like one of those girls that's like, I love football, and then they don't actually like it.

Jake Masseter [00:23:06]:
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Leslie [00:23:07]:
Like, she, I mean, she like actually knows football.

Morgan May Treuil [00:23:09]:
Graduated University of Alabama.

Leslie [00:23:11]:
Yeah.

Morgan May Treuil [00:23:11]:
And she's like, who do you root for? And I'm like, Texas. And she's like, oh, Sarkisian.

Jake Masseter [00:23:16]:
Yeah.

Morgan May Treuil [00:23:16]:
Came from the Nick Saban tree. So I think I'm okay with that. And I'm like, one, the fact that you know—

Leslie [00:23:21]:
I'm like, I didn't know what you just said.

Morgan May Treuil [00:23:24]:
The Texas coaches off rip. I'm like, oh, that was fun. And then that sparked a whole other area of conversation that we both like. And so it was just easy to talk to. It felt like we could stay on a subject for 45 minutes. What I'm not saying is you have to know sports to get a guy to like you. Don't do that. It was just those things where it's like someone would come up and we both were interested and could talk about it for a while.

Morgan May Treuil [00:23:45]:
She didn't interrupt her, and I never felt like I need to interrupt her like she was talking too long.

Jake Masseter [00:23:49]:
Now that you are in a relationship and you're starting to get more comfortable, when you look back to your first date, do you feel like both of you were yourselves? Like, do you feel like who she was on the first date is who she is now?

Morgan May Treuil [00:24:03]:
Uh, no. Yes. Who she was. Yes. There were like small things. I think you said it, no one's fully themselves on a first date.

Leslie [00:24:15]:
No, I'm not. I'm like more nervous or more whatever. Yeah, no, I'm saying everybody has their things.

Morgan May Treuil [00:24:21]:
Yeah. I think there were a couple things that changed, but like small things. Like, yeah, I would just say conversationally. When you're nervous, it comes out in conversation.

Jake Masseter [00:24:34]:
Yeah.

Morgan May Treuil [00:24:35]:
And so I think it was less of she changed and more of we just got comfortable.

Leslie [00:24:40]:
Yeah, you both got comfortable. Yeah, I love that because I love that people sometimes on a blind date, again, like I said, it's like people tend to make like really rash decisions on the first date. Yeah, most of the time it's always negative. I, I actually— you're probably the first person I know who went on a blind date and they actually worked out. Yeah, I don't think I know anyone else.

Jake Masseter [00:25:01]:
Do you? No, I don't think so, which is pretty cool because I—

Leslie [00:25:05]:
because I always hear a lot of girls say like, oh, I don't want to do the blind date thing, or I don't want to do this or that, they're always just weird. And I'm like, they're weird, but it only takes one. It only takes—

Morgan May Treuil [00:25:16]:
it only takes one.

Leslie [00:25:17]:
It only takes one.

Morgan May Treuil [00:25:18]:
Shout out Bella Davis-Smith because she asked me to go on a blind date and I said no. Yes, I said no, I'm not going on a blind date. And she's like, why? And I'm like, ah, This is where we go back to my singleness. I love being single. I think it's so fun. And so even in that time, I was never like— I would go on dates, but also it was like, if you told me I was going to be single for the next few years, I was going to be like, great, my life is full of friends and life and relationship. And she's like, what are you going to do, just never go on another date? She was pressing me after church, which she's good at. Yeah, yeah.

Morgan May Treuil [00:25:44]:
If you know Bella, she's like— she was like legitimately pressing me. She's like, why would you not just go on one date? And I'm like, once she said that, I was like, Oh yeah, you're absolutely right. What's the downside? I love people, so I can go hang out with someone and don't move on to—

Jake Masseter [00:25:57]:
Okay, so what's your advice to young guys who might be listening to this? And if you're not a young guy, maybe you know a young guy. What's your advice about, like, do you feel like you should just do you, the single thing?

Morgan May Treuil [00:26:14]:
Yes.

Jake Masseter [00:26:14]:
Like, just like—

Morgan May Treuil [00:26:15]:
Oh my gosh, to everyone.

Jake Masseter [00:26:16]:
And then when it comes to—

Morgan May Treuil [00:26:17]:
That's my advice to everyone.

Jake Masseter [00:26:19]:
Or do you feel like— because in this case, you weren't like searching out girls to ask on dates. You weren't trying to settle down. This sort of just came to you.

Leslie [00:26:30]:
You were kind of like, I don't have time for a girlfriend. I don't have— yeah, because I remember you kind of being like that.

Morgan May Treuil [00:26:36]:
Yeah, you were wanting this. Really, really content being single.

Jake Masseter [00:26:39]:
But then if that's true, if that's the case, then do we just have a lot of guys that are like, I'm just gonna wait till the right girl pops into my life.

Morgan May Treuil [00:26:47]:
No, because I would say I, I was in a little bit different of a spot. Um, I would say one to like both people, to the guys listening and the girls listening, be single well. Like just when it's so attractive, like one of the things that I love about Emily is like she can just be herself well. It doesn't feel like she's looking, waiting, needing a boyfriend to come along to make her complete. She's completely her without me.

Leslie [00:27:13]:
Yeah.

Morgan May Treuil [00:27:13]:
And so that's what I would say is the bigger thing. Um, I would say to like to all guys and girls is like, set— be— go on more dates. Like, even for me, I was like, nah, I always was okay with going on dates. I usually preferred to be in control of who I got to pick. So that's— yeah, it wasn't, it wasn't like the going on dates was hard for me. The blind date was tough, but yeah, go on, go on dates more often. Yeah, yeah, go on more dates, guys. Pursue more girls.

Morgan May Treuil [00:27:40]:
I feel like I talk about this with my sister a lot. She's like, there's way more— like, there's a ton of girls I know that are just waiting to be asked out. And then I have conversations with guys like, I don't, I don't know what girls to ask out. I'm like, any of them.

Leslie [00:27:53]:
Lots of options.

Morgan May Treuil [00:27:54]:
Start asking. There's even at 18, 25, it feels like there's a ton of guys who would— if you pulled all the guys, they'd be like, yeah, like, there's— these girls are cute, but they won't do anything about it.

Jake Masseter [00:28:04]:
Well, it's funny because I feel like most those guys, I'm like, okay, "Okay, who are you asking on a date?" And they're like, "It's kind of just me and God right now." And I'm like, "Oh, for how long is it just going to be you and God? Because we've got a sea of girls over here that are ready to go." It's just different. Which we've talked about that before, the difference between like God timeline and girl timeline.

Leslie [00:28:24]:
Yeah. Yeah.

Morgan May Treuil [00:28:25]:
Guys, shoot your shot more often or go on dates more often. Or if your friend tries to set you up on a date, say yes, go on a date.

Leslie [00:28:32]:
And don't be afraid of it going, just being I think some people are afraid of it not going well, which makes—

Morgan May Treuil [00:28:39]:
which, if it doesn't, you're in the same spot you were a week ago.

Leslie [00:28:41]:
Exactly. You didn't lose anything.

Morgan May Treuil [00:28:43]:
There's zero risk.

Leslie [00:28:44]:
And again, it only takes one. That's my, that's my life motto for any friend, is like, yeah, it only takes one. Like, you could go on 10 blind horrible dates, but you go on one blind date and it's great. So it's like, yeah, and same with being in all types of dating, but So I'm, I'm curious, Jake, when, when we're talking about Emily, which I, I like that this is turning into like a Emily fan club episode, but Emily tell all, like season— I know. And she's not even here. We need to have her on eventually.

Jake Masseter [00:29:11]:
I know. To hear her side of the story.

Leslie [00:29:13]:
So what about her really stood out? Because I'm gonna be honest, we've never seen you be this serious this fast about somebody and be this sure or like, like I've, which also just context.

Jake Masseter [00:29:28]:
I left town for like a month.

Leslie [00:29:30]:
Oh my gosh.

Jake Masseter [00:29:31]:
Which you guys know because we've been recording. And I come back. Are you good?

Morgan May Treuil [00:29:36]:
Yeah, I thought I was tightening it. I loosened it and the mic fell off, but I got it.

Jake Masseter [00:29:40]:
And then I come back and Jake has a girlfriend.

Leslie [00:29:43]:
I know. I was like, Morgan, so much has happened.

Jake Masseter [00:29:45]:
Very serious about it. Leslie's like sending me voice memos and Leslie's like, okay, here's the State of the Union. Jake has a girlfriend and he really likes her.

Leslie [00:29:54]:
Yeah, well, we were all like, what the heck? We haven't even met this girl and Jake's like already official. And I'm like, we need— like, Morgan has to meet her.

Jake Masseter [00:30:01]:
Yes, I have to meet her. I feel like this was— which is really cool because—

Leslie [00:30:06]:
so bring your friends in earlier than Jake did.

Jake Masseter [00:30:08]:
Yes, that wasn't good.

Morgan May Treuil [00:30:09]:
I brought you all in really quick.

Leslie [00:30:11]:
Yeah, but you like were already signed up and everything without us even meeting her.

Morgan May Treuil [00:30:16]:
My fault.

Jake Masseter [00:30:16]:
And then we meet her and we love her. Oh, she's amazing. Yeah.

Morgan May Treuil [00:30:19]:
Which I knew you guys would. So I'm—

Jake Masseter [00:30:20]:
yes, but what was your question?

Leslie [00:30:21]:
So I'm curious, what about her— I'm not just saying this for you to say like, oh, this is why I like her so much, but like, because I think listeners— sometimes girls, I think, have it wrong in their heads about what they think guys are looking for in those initial first like couple weeks, months of dating. Yeah, I think a lot of girls are like, I've got to be this way, or I've got to be just like them, like I have to like mirror their personality, or I have to I'm curious because Emily is not like you. Like, you guys are very different. So what about her was attractive to you and made you feel like, oh, I can get serious quickly?

Morgan May Treuil [00:31:02]:
Uh, authenticity. It felt like I was getting the real— I, I was getting like the real Emily right off rip.

Leslie [00:31:08]:
Yeah.

Morgan May Treuil [00:31:09]:
Which was huge to me that it didn't feel like either one of us— which, I mean, if you know me, you know I'm gonna be my like you're gonna be yourself.

Jake Masseter [00:31:16]:
You don't have another setting.

Leslie [00:31:17]:
Yeah, yeah.

Morgan May Treuil [00:31:18]:
But I think for her, that was one of the things where I'm like, oh, I really liked that. Just that it also, for me, it just shows confidence in who you are and like security in who she is.

Jake Masseter [00:31:29]:
Yeah.

Morgan May Treuil [00:31:30]:
So I would say that was a huge thing of like she's really secure and she was comfortable just being herself, which for dating at least, it didn't feel like I'm like, oh, I have to get to know who she is a little more. It's like 2, 3 dates in, I'm like, I feel like I have a pretty good grasp on who this girl is. Yeah, it doesn't feel like she's hiding things or changing what she wants. She can vocalize her opinions and stuff. And so loved that. Loved, like, when I would bring her around church, which I work at this church and there's a lot of people I know here. And so to bring someone in and have a bunch of people, everyone's like, oh my You're— we've been waiting for you. We've been waiting for you.

Morgan May Treuil [00:32:10]:
Everyone's so excited for you. Everyone's so excited to meet her because I can't remember the last time I like brought a girl to church and sat with her in service and stuff.

Jake Masseter [00:32:17]:
Yeah. Did the students freak out?

Morgan May Treuil [00:32:21]:
Yeah, I was like— like everyone's just like— it was—

Jake Masseter [00:32:24]:
your students are just probably—

Morgan May Treuil [00:32:25]:
everyone's going after her, be like, you are the one, you're the Lisan al-Gaib from Dune. Oh my God, you're the chosen one, you've made it. 28 days. Yeah, I'm like, whoa. Uh, no, but like, even in those conversations, all of those conversations drove me to like her even more because it would be people walking up wanting to talk to her. Terrible setup for anyone because it's the same 5 questions.

Leslie [00:32:52]:
Who are you? Yeah, how'd you meet? Intimidating.

Morgan May Treuil [00:32:54]:
And she's so— she had the same conversation 10 times. And if a kid walked up to me and pulled me away I could just let her stand there and talk to these people, and I knew that there was never going to be— like, she just talked to people well, so she stood really well on her own and stuff. Yeah, that was a huge thing for me.

Jake Masseter [00:33:10]:
She stood really well on her own.

Morgan May Treuil [00:33:12]:
Yeah, she stood really, really well on her own.

Jake Masseter [00:33:14]:
Great, a great— yes.

Morgan May Treuil [00:33:16]:
And then she didn't need you to say the biggest thing all the time. Trying to think, there's one thing I always joke about, like, this is, this is when I knew I was gonna like lock it down. On our second date Okay, we went to Sacramento. I got a parking ticket.

Leslie [00:33:30]:
Oh, this is so good.

Morgan May Treuil [00:33:32]:
Yeah, whatever. We drive the whole way home. Great taste in music helped. Listen to music on the drive home. Then I get out of the car, I walk to go open up her car door, and I see a piece of paper on my windshield. I pull it out, it's a parking ticket. I'm like, frick. Internally I'm like, I already spent money today, like, dang.

Morgan May Treuil [00:33:50]:
So I open her car door And she's like, what's that? I'm like, I don't know, it's a parking ticket. I like throw it into my driver's side seat, and then I go open the trunk to like grab her bag or something. But— and she snipes a photo of the parking ticket and pays it without me knowing. 3 weeks later, because I'm a procrastinator, I like log on to go pay this ticket that I found when I was cleaning out my car, and it said paid. And I, I'm like, did you pay this parking ticket? She's like, yeah. And I'm like, how did— she's like, when you went to the— I took a picture. I went inside and paid it $82. And I'm like, lock, locking in.

Leslie [00:34:24]:
$82. Oh my gosh, that is—

Jake Masseter [00:34:28]:
I hadn't heard this story before.

Leslie [00:34:29]:
Isn't that so cool? That is so cool.

Morgan May Treuil [00:34:31]:
It was the most thoughtful thing. I actually don't think— I think it was like 3 or 4 days later, because I remember once that happened, I'm like, I am going—

Jake Masseter [00:34:38]:
she is value added. Will be my girlfriend. That's a value added. That's a value added move.

Morgan May Treuil [00:34:41]:
Yeah, absolutely. I can be bought. That's what I learned.

Leslie [00:34:44]:
Oh my gosh.

Morgan May Treuil [00:34:45]:
I'm like, I can be bought and bribed.

Jake Masseter [00:34:46]:
What's underneath that though?

Morgan May Treuil [00:34:48]:
Like, what's, what's the thing underneath that that The level of like thoughtfulness that you would even— the level of thoughtfulness and care that someone would have to even one, think about doing that.

Jake Masseter [00:34:59]:
Or like contribution. Like I'm not just like here to be served.

Leslie [00:35:04]:
Yeah.

Morgan May Treuil [00:35:04]:
I like that.

Leslie [00:35:05]:
She didn't say anything.

Jake Masseter [00:35:08]:
That is even better because I'd be at home and I'd be like, hey, just FYI, I paid the parking.

Morgan May Treuil [00:35:13]:
Literally.

Jake Masseter [00:35:15]:
Just so you know.

Leslie [00:35:16]:
I'd be in the car like—

Morgan May Treuil [00:35:17]:
Yeah. That'd be like every time I got a bill, I'd be like, hey, just so you know, this is how much it cost.

Jake Masseter [00:35:23]:
No, literally, because I would want— I would want you to know that I did it, and she didn't care that you knew that.

Morgan May Treuil [00:35:27]:
She's like, I was never going to tell you.

Leslie [00:35:28]:
I was hoping you'd just never ask because you probably would forget about that parking ticket.

Morgan May Treuil [00:35:33]:
Just kidding.

Jake Masseter [00:35:33]:
That's so true.

Leslie [00:35:35]:
But that is— I remember you telling me that after the first, second date. I was like, that is probably one of the sweetest things I've ever heard someone do on a date.

Morgan May Treuil [00:35:42]:
I think it was like a day or two later where I asked her to be my girlfriend.

Jake Masseter [00:35:46]:
I was like, gosh, she's so humble. Like, she's so not about herself.

Leslie [00:35:50]:
Yeah.

Jake Masseter [00:35:50]:
And you're so about your—

Leslie [00:35:52]:
okay, something you haven't said about her, but I'm teeing you up for it, is you talk a lot about her maturity.

Jake Masseter [00:35:58]:
Yes.

Leslie [00:35:59]:
Can you talk a little bit about that? Because that's something that I don't think girls always are on the forefront of their mind. Not that you fake it, you, you act your maturity level.

Jake Masseter [00:36:10]:
Yeah.

Leslie [00:36:11]:
But I think that sometimes girls are worried about just being like super fun or super carefree or whatever, but it's like, or like, help me, I fell down. A little helpless. Like I need that.

Morgan May Treuil [00:36:24]:
Yeah. Distress.

Leslie [00:36:26]:
Yeah. Damsel in distress vibes. And they think that that's what is gonna make a guy feel like, yeah, oh, I really wanna be with this girl. But I love that the things that you really like about Emily are things that are like, she's she has all the— she has all those fun things, but like, I love the, the maturity aspect. I've heard you talk about so many times, so can you talk about that a little bit?

Morgan May Treuil [00:36:45]:
Yeah, I would say the, like, maturity showed itself in a bunch of her personality traits and qualities. Her maturity did. The biggest one is like, for me, her ability to just be herself and have— so just be herself, one, authentic, authenticity off the rip. Pointed to maturity. Her ability to like stand on her own and have conversations with people, my people, if I walked away, pointed to maturity. On our third date, her dad got tickets to like a Kings game, suite tickets, and she's like, hey, I got this. She's like, I know this is crazy to come hang out with me and my dad on the third date, but I got these Kings tickets. Do you want to come? And I'm like, Even the fact that like she would just ask because she wanted to ask.

Morgan May Treuil [00:37:33]:
She's like, you get— feels like even in the ass, she gave me the ability to say no, but she's like, this would be fun. I'm like, yeah, she didn't feel like she was being trepidatious or like walking around on eggshells or like, I don't want to do anything to upset him. It was like, no, I'm gonna just— this would be fun, so I'm gonna just ask him.

Jake Masseter [00:37:48]:
Yeah.

Morgan May Treuil [00:37:49]:
And I think I was supposed to hang out with y'all that night. I'm like, peace out, sweet. What? Goodbye.

Leslie [00:37:55]:
He's like, screw small.

Morgan May Treuil [00:37:56]:
So even in all those things, it just felt like she was just so able to like be herself. And just if she wanted to ask a question, she would ask a question. If she wanted to disagree with me, she'd disagree with me. It was like, oh, you're just so comfortable in who you are. That's something you got it.

Leslie [00:38:13]:
I liked about her when we first hung out with her. We played a game. I think we played Secret Hitler.

Morgan May Treuil [00:38:18]:
We definitely played Secret Hitler.

Leslie [00:38:19]:
I think this was maybe the first time, second time.

Jake Masseter [00:38:21]:
I think it's a board game, by the way.

Leslie [00:38:23]:
Oh yeah, I'm so sorry.

Jake Masseter [00:38:24]:
No, no, no, we did this other night, young adults, and we were like, yeah, we got Secret Hitler in the back. And everyone was like, What? And I was like, oh, hold on, that's a board game.

Leslie [00:38:32]:
Yes.

Jake Masseter [00:38:32]:
Everybody knows.

Leslie [00:38:33]:
Yeah. What I— two things I really appreciated about Emily when she came over the first time.

Morgan May Treuil [00:38:38]:
Context. Can I give some context on this game real quick?

Jake Masseter [00:38:41]:
Yes.

Morgan May Treuil [00:38:41]:
This is a game based on lying and deception, one of which I think—

Jake Masseter [00:38:45]:
it's like Mafia.

Morgan May Treuil [00:38:46]:
I can be known to get a little intense at, but it makes not as much as Leslie.

Leslie [00:38:51]:
What?

Morgan May Treuil [00:38:52]:
But intense.

Leslie [00:38:53]:
You would say that you're more— I'm more intense than you are?

Morgan May Treuil [00:38:56]:
No, I would say you match my intensity. If I'm yelling, you're yelling. If you're yelling, I'm yelling.

Leslie [00:39:00]:
We're getting loud. We're getting loud.

Morgan May Treuil [00:39:02]:
Two people in the room that are yelling.

Leslie [00:39:05]:
Every time I leave Secret Hitler, I feel like I might have burned a lot of bridges.

Morgan May Treuil [00:39:09]:
Yes.

Leslie [00:39:09]:
That's how you should leave Secret Hitler.

Jake Masseter [00:39:11]:
That's the fun of it.

Leslie [00:39:11]:
I was like, do I still have friends? I don't know.

Morgan May Treuil [00:39:13]:
I don't know.

Jake Masseter [00:39:13]:
You know if they're—

Morgan May Treuil [00:39:14]:
because I lied to them so freaking well. But that's important context for what you're about to say, is that I am an intense player.

Leslie [00:39:21]:
Yes. Yeah.

Jake Masseter [00:39:22]:
Number one, I love a hard game for a brand new person.

Morgan May Treuil [00:39:26]:
That's like, hey, come into our friend group and find 9 or 10 kids.

Jake Masseter [00:39:29]:
Yeah, you have to like— it's a personality-based game.

Leslie [00:39:32]:
Yeah, lie to them or tell them that they're a liar.

Morgan May Treuil [00:39:35]:
Look at them and say, you're lying.

Jake Masseter [00:39:36]:
Yeah, he is.

Morgan May Treuil [00:39:38]:
Great intro. No one's—

Jake Masseter [00:39:40]:
no one else has survived.

Morgan May Treuil [00:39:42]:
Yeah. So other days that have played this game, which is like Feels like a rite of passage. Morgan and Leslie, when I'm like, oh, I'm dating this girl, they're like, all right, well, we'll bring out Secret Hitler because we gotta—

Leslie [00:39:52]:
we did say that.

Jake Masseter [00:39:54]:
We gotta see if she makes it like a trial.

Leslie [00:39:55]:
It actually was a conversation before you brought her because we were like, you know what, this kind of usually is the end of the road for Jake if this doesn't go well. And if it goes well, then great.

Jake Masseter [00:40:04]:
Yeah.

Leslie [00:40:04]:
So, um, number one, I loved that when she walked in, she just came straight to us girls and started talking. Wasn't like she— there was no part of sticking by your side. No. And making sure like she was with you all the time, which is so intimidating to walk into a friend group. So I love that she did that, even if like, I don't— I mean, she didn't seem uncomfortable, but that is an uncomfortable situation. Um, I appreciated that during the game she was like, Jake, you're a liar. Like, she just called you right out during the game, and I was like, I think she's gonna fit in here.

Morgan May Treuil [00:40:37]:
Yeah, I think you're gonna— I think you're gonna But like, not being so afraid of like, what if I piss him off? What if I say something that he doesn't like? What if I go against him? She's like, all you guys that know this man, he's a liar.

Leslie [00:40:49]:
And I'm like, yeah, he's like, he's lying right now. And I'm like, yes, he is. But also, I wasn't— but also, it wasn't in a performative way. Like, I think some people want to be like, oh, I'm just like— because we have had people before that we know, not with you, but with other people, where it's like the, the significant other comes into the, the friend group And it's almost like they start picking on people, like they're more comfortable than they should be, trying to establish dominance. You know, like that's happened before where they come in, they're just like, they start making fun of Jake, and we're like, you can't make fun of Jake yet, like you're new here, like we only can make fun of Jake.

Jake Masseter [00:41:23]:
That's a roast.

Leslie [00:41:24]:
So I think that she just rode that line really well, which I think people can learn from, because yes, even though, even if something is intimidating, if you walk in with confidence You can walk into any room.

Jake Masseter [00:41:36]:
Yes.

Leslie [00:41:36]:
Like, yeah. And you don't always have to have the right thing to say. You don't, you can have an awkward silence and it's okay. The fact that you are putting yourself out there and letting the friends know, hey, I actually would rather have an awkward silence than not try with you guys.

Jake Masseter [00:41:50]:
Yep.

Leslie [00:41:50]:
To me, it means so much to me that I'm like, oh, you wanna come hang with us? And it's not like you have to instantly be best friends with everybody. Yeah. But it's like the fact that you wanna do that is great.

Morgan May Treuil [00:42:00]:
Yeah.

Jake Masseter [00:42:00]:
Have you had any moments that have been embarrassing for you that she responded well to and you're like, this is nice?

Morgan May Treuil [00:42:10]:
Um, I'm sure there is.

Leslie [00:42:11]:
You can—

Morgan May Treuil [00:42:12]:
you refresh me? This is where my memory starts to fail me.

Leslie [00:42:15]:
Oh, did you almost—

Jake Masseter [00:42:16]:
you have a situation?

Leslie [00:42:18]:
Oh, you had a situation at the lake.

Jake Masseter [00:42:21]:
Yes, I've heard about this actually. This is a good story.

Leslie [00:42:24]:
I need you to recap this.

Morgan May Treuil [00:42:25]:
Okay, this is why I tell you guys things. You're like my logbook.

Leslie [00:42:31]:
That's funny. Earlier you said that we were liars.

Morgan May Treuil [00:42:33]:
Even though you alter my memories, it's like when I tell you guys a story, it's like the Harry Potter thing where they put their memory in the glass jars and you guys will keep them safe. You'll add a little bit of lies to them, but you'll remember things.

Jake Masseter [00:42:46]:
Stop saying that like that.

Morgan May Treuil [00:42:48]:
Yeah, we went on a date to a lake. Date at the lake. Uh, little picnic date. Bought some flowers.

Jake Masseter [00:42:57]:
Yes, this is very sweet. Yeah, wait, but that would give me— does that like— does the— like, if someone took you on a picnic date with like flowers and they brought little like foods and a blanket and stuff, does that ick you out?

Leslie [00:43:13]:
I don't know why, because I think if you really like the guy, that it works.

Jake Masseter [00:43:16]:
I guess I'm imagining Benji doing that, and that gives me the ick.

Morgan May Treuil [00:43:19]:
Well, because it's not Benji. That's not—

Jake Masseter [00:43:21]:
that's not him, right? That's why.

Leslie [00:43:22]:
No, I think— I do think there's, there's certain things that I have had happen on dates where I'm like, I'm so icked out, but if I really liked this guy, this would be the greatest date ever.

Jake Masseter [00:43:31]:
Okay, that's a good point. That's great. So, so yeah, plan your dates accordingly.

Morgan May Treuil [00:43:37]:
Walk a little bit from the car. Walk like— this is such a crazy story that you guys are having me tell this.

Jake Masseter [00:43:42]:
That's actually what this podcast is for, live TV.

Leslie [00:43:44]:
Yeah, good.

Morgan May Treuil [00:43:47]:
Probably 3/4 of a mile.

Jake Masseter [00:43:48]:
Yes.

Morgan May Treuil [00:43:49]:
Through whatever, we have our picnic, we eat the cheese, the crackers, had some wine, had a great time. And then dessert, oatmeal, Little Debbie's oatmeal cream pies. Please sponsor me. I love you guys' desserts.

Jake Masseter [00:44:01]:
Why? Do you like those or she likes those?

Morgan May Treuil [00:44:04]:
I love them. Little Debbie's oatmeal cream pies. Yeah.

Leslie [00:44:07]:
What?

Morgan May Treuil [00:44:07]:
I've just packed everything I like in there. It's not true. Yeah. And then so whatever. Am realizing I maybe love cheese more than cheese loves me. And so as we're walking around the lake, because, you know, it's beautiful there. You're just walking. And the more I'm moving my legs, I'm like, my stomach's kind of hurting.

Morgan May Treuil [00:44:32]:
Right? So my stomach's kind of hurting. The sun's going down. My favorite sport is sunsets.

Jake Masseter [00:44:35]:
Whatever.

Morgan May Treuil [00:44:35]:
We watch the sunset. And then I'm like, all right, it's time to go. We had people coming over to our house afterwards for a game night. So I'm like, we're heading back to the game now.

Leslie [00:44:43]:
Our house, not him and Emily's house.

Jake Masseter [00:44:45]:
Just to clarify, they don't live together.

Morgan May Treuil [00:44:47]:
When I say our house, I mean me and my roommate.

Leslie [00:44:48]:
It's our third day and we live together.

Jake Masseter [00:44:50]:
You and your roommate.

Morgan May Treuil [00:44:51]:
Me and my roommate. It's not my house. It's actually his house.

Jake Masseter [00:44:55]:
Just clarifying.

Leslie [00:44:55]:
Just clarifying.

Morgan May Treuil [00:44:55]:
It's for listeners. Little doggy in the side room. Shout out to my dog. We're packing up. The more I'm moving around, the more I'm realizing my stomach hurts. Stomach no good. Something is wrong. Something's coming for you.

Morgan May Treuil [00:45:08]:
We're packing up. I'm like, all right, let's Let's go. So I got the cooler, I got the little Yeti cooler and the blank— the towel. It wasn't even a blanket.

Jake Masseter [00:45:16]:
I do feel like this should be said, girls. If you're on a date and all of a sudden you feel like it's ending abruptly and you're worried that you didn't— you did something wrong, it's a 50/50 shot. Either you did something wrong or his bowels have reached the point of no return.

Leslie [00:45:29]:
And they are not— luckily I was like, oh, look at the time, we gotta—

Morgan May Treuil [00:45:34]:
yes, we should— Carson and Cam are gonna be at our house any, any moment, so we should be making our way back. She's like, oh my gosh, yes. And I'm like, yes. So then we're walking and about 40 steps in, I'm like, I really got to crap my pants.

Jake Masseter [00:45:49]:
Yeah. And did you say that?

Morgan May Treuil [00:45:51]:
No, I didn't want to say anything because I just didn't know what to say. Again, we're still early on. And so I think I just stand there and I'm like, looking at the nature, full lock and full clinch. I'm just looking around. She's like, what are you doing? And I'm full clinch and I'm like, well, no time to lie. Who wants to be a liar? So I'm like, Emily, I think I have to crap my pants. I just said it.

Jake Masseter [00:46:20]:
What number date is this?

Morgan May Treuil [00:46:21]:
She's like, it's like your third or fourth date maybe, right? Yeah, we're like 3, 4 weeks in, maybe early enough for this to be like, this sucks. Don't know what to do here. And she's like, okay, well, hand me this stuff you're carrying.

Jake Masseter [00:46:38]:
She's a teacher.

Leslie [00:46:39]:
Yeah, she's a teacher.

Morgan May Treuil [00:46:40]:
She's a first grade teacher. She's like, oh, my first graders deal with this all the time.

Leslie [00:46:45]:
She's like, here's a hall pass.

Morgan May Treuil [00:46:47]:
She's like, how bad is it? I'm like, no, we're DEF CON 5. Okay, we're not good. She's like, what do you— you got to run off into the bushes? Like, how bad are you going to try and make it back to the bathroom and run off in the bushes? That's where we're at. That's the conversation we're having.

Jake Masseter [00:47:03]:
Okay.

Morgan May Treuil [00:47:03]:
It's not like, let me carry this for you and it'll be easier. It's like, are you running into the woods or are you trying to use the bathroom? So she's like, give me all the stuff. And I'm like, I'm gonna try and make it to the bathroom. And so this is where every girl in the world would have gotten the ick. I take off running, full knee lock, leg lock, butt lock, like clinch. Imagine someone running through the woods like full clinch, like taking off.

Jake Masseter [00:47:25]:
And she has all of this stuff.

Morgan May Treuil [00:47:27]:
She's in her mouth.

Jake Masseter [00:47:29]:
Carrying all the stuff and you are running.

Morgan May Treuil [00:47:32]:
I'm gone.

Leslie [00:47:33]:
You're out through the woods.

Morgan May Treuil [00:47:34]:
Just— okay, I'm like, you can find your way back.

Leslie [00:47:37]:
Yes.

Jake Masseter [00:47:37]:
If you're the girl, what are you thinking in that moment? You're carrying—

Morgan May Treuil [00:47:40]:
this is over.

Leslie [00:47:41]:
Yes. Wait, so how did she respond?

Morgan May Treuil [00:47:43]:
Well, I'm running back and I'm like, do you make it? First of all, it would— I, I'm not crapping my pants here, so she's, you know, if this is—

Jake Masseter [00:47:51]:
you made it back.

Morgan May Treuil [00:47:52]:
If this is the reason it doesn't work, this is the reason it doesn't work, because I got to make it to this bathroom.

Leslie [00:47:55]:
Yes.

Morgan May Treuil [00:47:56]:
So I make it to the bathroom. And then I'm in the bathroom and I'm like locking, unlocking the car because I kept the car keys. I'm like just trying to hope that she doesn't have to stand outside of the car at the lake parking lot and hear you holding all this.

Jake Masseter [00:48:10]:
And you're in like a lake bathroom, so this is tough.

Morgan May Treuil [00:48:14]:
Yeah, whatever, finish, get in the car.

Leslie [00:48:15]:
It's not even soap.

Morgan May Treuil [00:48:18]:
She said something like, that was, that was the most romantic date I've been on up until you almost crapped your pants, and then we both laughed about it. Up until you almost crapped your pants or something. And her ability to joke, roll with it, shrug it off. And then she's like, you ready to go to Cameron Carson? So you get down. I'm like, man, you just rolled through that one with me. We don't have to mention it. I told her, I said, which is crazy that I'm saying this on this podcast, because I'm like, if you tell anyone that this happened, I'll just have to kill myself. So I'm like, I won't.

Morgan May Treuil [00:48:49]:
Don't publicize this. Ever. And then you— I told you guys in confidence, and I'm like, this is a very embarrassing story.

Jake Masseter [00:48:55]:
And now you're on the—

Morgan May Treuil [00:48:56]:
come on the podcast and tell all the listeners.

Jake Masseter [00:48:59]:
Okay, here's my unpopular opinion. I actually think that that kind of situation is a necessity to exper— yeah, an emergency bowel situation is an essential dating milestone that must be had in order to see if marriage is a possibility.

Morgan May Treuil [00:49:16]:
Yeah, we, we hit that milestone early because we were right past it. Wasn't even, wasn't even—

Jake Masseter [00:49:21]:
Yes, yes.

Leslie [00:49:22]:
How they respond, if they can laugh it off.

Morgan May Treuil [00:49:24]:
Can you laugh it off?

Leslie [00:49:25]:
Do you get—

Morgan May Treuil [00:49:26]:
can you have compassion for me and sympathy for me in these hard moments?

Leslie [00:49:31]:
Yes.

Jake Masseter [00:49:31]:
Looking back. Yeah.

Morgan May Treuil [00:49:32]:
And she had compassion and sympathy.

Jake Masseter [00:49:33]:
That's—

Leslie [00:49:34]:
and I love that.

Jake Masseter [00:49:35]:
Me too.

Morgan May Treuil [00:49:35]:
She never brought it up ever again. If it were me, I would have gone the next time we're in a public space, be like, guys, did you hear what happened? I would have, you know, but she never brought it up. She took it to the grave.

Jake Masseter [00:49:45]:
She took it to the grave. We took it out of the grave and put it for everyone to hear.

Leslie [00:49:52]:
Yeah, I love a good potty.

Jake Masseter [00:49:53]:
Here's what I like about this whole situation. You've dispelled the myth that everything has to go perfectly in order for the person to like you.

Morgan May Treuil [00:50:02]:
Yeah.

Jake Masseter [00:50:03]:
You've dispelled the myth that you need to be kind of like a version of yourself that you're not.

Morgan May Treuil [00:50:08]:
Yeah.

Jake Masseter [00:50:09]:
Um, and you've dispelled the myth that the person needs to be, hey, I need you, pick me. Yeah, I don't know where we get that vibe from, that we're supposed to be like a dancer, alter yourself, like alter your desires and alter what you want to talk about because hopefully they'll like me more, right? Yes. What I like most about her is that she's not Jake's girlfriend.

Morgan May Treuil [00:50:32]:
No.

Jake Masseter [00:50:33]:
Yeah, no, that is not her identity. Her identity is This is Emily and she's awesome. She also happens to be dating Jake.

Leslie [00:50:39]:
Yes.

Jake Masseter [00:50:39]:
And that is something about her, but it's not her.

Morgan May Treuil [00:50:42]:
No.

Leslie [00:50:42]:
Yeah.

Jake Masseter [00:50:42]:
And I think that we probably have a lot of people listening, myself, my, my previous self included, that would have changed themselves to become the person they were dating's girlfriend as their sole identity, because something in us tells us that that's what people want. That is not what people want.

Leslie [00:51:02]:
No.

Jake Masseter [00:51:02]:
And it's not God's best for you that you would be in a relationship where you feel like your sole purpose is to revolve around that person.

Leslie [00:51:09]:
No. And if you change yourself early on in dating and you basically like try to make it work so that that person likes you, eventually you cannot keep that act up.

Jake Masseter [00:51:21]:
No.

Leslie [00:51:22]:
So then what happens when you're, you know, a year or two down the road and you like are like, well, now I'm myself. And you're kind of stuck together, it's like, that's, that's a disaster. So it's like, be yourself from the problem that's gonna show up. Yeah, from the get-go, from the jump. So from the jump, um, Jake, you also— what I— I mean, we talk a lot about Emily and how awesome she is, but you have also been great too. Like, you've changed. I think, I think you, you used to suck and now you're great.

Morgan May Treuil [00:51:49]:
You've changed a ton.

Leslie [00:51:51]:
Yes. But I think her feeling—

Morgan May Treuil [00:51:52]:
have you forgiven me for getting a girlfriend while you were away.

Jake Masseter [00:51:56]:
I, I, I loved that that happened. I mean, it was like a lot to come back into it because I feel like we didn't get to— like, we weren't— we, it— we weren't a part of it, but it was the best news ever, which is rare.

Morgan May Treuil [00:52:08]:
You're usually a part of these decisions.

Jake Masseter [00:52:10]:
I feel like—

Leslie [00:52:10]:
yeah. Yes.

Jake Masseter [00:52:11]:
But what were you— Leslie was saying something, you interrupted her twice.

Leslie [00:52:13]:
I was trying to compliment you, but it's okay, we can move on. No, I think, Jake, you have been— from what you've explained too about like how you've dated Emily, how you have like— I mean, she lives kind of far from you, you've like paid for her gas, like you've done stuff that's like a good reminder for girls to be like, hey, you deserve a guy that's gonna like treat you really well, make you feel like you can be comfortable. Like you've been yourself. I think that's encouraged her to probably be herself. I think, I think a lot of girls are like grasping for like anything of like The guy can do the bare minimum and it feels like this is the most amazing guy, but it's like, yeah, you're— I think you're showing our listeners too, it's like, hey, a guy should treat you really well. Like, they should bring you in front of their friends. Like, you did that early on. Like, you brought her around, she brought you around her family.

Leslie [00:53:06]:
Like, I love that it's not just her entering your life, but you're also entering hers. I think there's just like a lot of cool things from that. Now my question is, from all the good stuff, what you guys have been dating for?

Morgan May Treuil [00:53:19]:
Don't even know.

Leslie [00:53:20]:
Like maybe 2 months yet.

Morgan May Treuil [00:53:23]:
I don't know. No, I don't think it's 2 months.

Jake Masseter [00:53:25]:
Why don't you find out? That might be good.

Morgan May Treuil [00:53:29]:
That might be good to know. Yeah, she accepts me for who I am. Not good with dates.

Leslie [00:53:33]:
Keeping time.

Morgan May Treuil [00:53:34]:
I don't know my parents' birthdays.

Leslie [00:53:36]:
Oh my gosh.

Morgan May Treuil [00:53:37]:
That's where I'm at with dates. I know Mom's is in December.

Leslie [00:53:41]:
Great, that's good. Okay, at least you got the month. How are you like keeping yourself in check of like not rushing things? Because I think it obviously— I think, I think it's real that people can know when they know and like feel like, no, this is, this is my person. But there's still an element to like getting to see people through seasons. And I think like, how are you dealing with all that while being like Because you've never been someone where you're like, first date, I just know when I know, or even second date or whatever.

Morgan May Treuil [00:54:12]:
Yeah, I've always been having to hit the brake or hit the gas, hit the gas pedal. I've never been in a relationship where I'm like, oh, I gotta hit the brakes. Just be aware that it's like, yeah.

Jake Masseter [00:54:22]:
So this is a great question.

Morgan May Treuil [00:54:25]:
Um, I would say for me, there's probably the most of that comes in just my, I would say, my quiet time, my prayer time, and my reflection time as I think through things., and I think about how to have a God-honoring relationship, part of that is like honoring and protecting her heart. And so, yeah, I think there's just some conver— like, again, in all three levels of intimacy, social intimacy, physical intimacy, spiritual intimacy, recognizing that we are two months in. And so there's conversations that I won't have with her about just I think in general, like, I wouldn't— I tell my high schoolers this all the time. If y'all are talking about what your kids' names are going to be on date one, that's creating a level of social intimacy that doesn't need to be there on week one, you know? And so talking about the future and like, where do we want to live together and what are our kids' names going to be? I think that's creating a level of social intimacy that doesn't need to be there that early. Yeah. Because it can— it's promising something that you're not ready for. You're making promises. And so that would be the first thing of just watching all three of those.

Morgan May Treuil [00:55:34]:
And then the other thing is just I have really, really, really great friends around me, and I'm a verbal processor. This helps. But to have great friends that really, really know me, know my heart, and they also know Jesus and love Jesus that I can go to and process things with and talk about things with.. And I know that if I was living in a way or doing things in a way that they would be like, hey, you need to stop this or slow down on this or don't be doing this, they would say that. And so just having people who are like having a great friend group, and I get it, I am beyond blessed to have like, I can call, I have a lot of people that I can call for those things. But even if it's just one or two, like there should always be someone that's, I would say, walking alongside of you, a mentor or a friend that you know beyond a shadow of a doubt really, really loves you, that you would allow them to speak into your life. Not everyone has to have that place in your life, and I'm— for the rest of your life, there'll be people that try and give you input that you haven't placed on that pedestal, so be careful about it. But the friends that I have given that pedestal to are really good with it, and so that's been really good at like just reminding me to have, I would say, healthy perspectives on things.

Morgan May Treuil [00:56:57]:
So that would be the answer to that question of, like, I would say most of it comes in. If it doesn't come in my solo, just quiet time and just making sure I'm in a good spot and holding what I would say are healthy boundaries for where we're at, then my friends will come and give that to me too.

Jake Masseter [00:57:13]:
That's good. That's great. Yeah. I remember feeling like I, in all relationships, tried to rush to the end because the underlying fear was that God didn't have marriage for me. Therefore, I wanted to like kind of white-knuckle every relationship, even if I knew that it wasn't God's best for me. I wanted to white-knuckle it to the end, basically. And I remember dating Benji and having a similar problem of being like, I'm ready to just like know that 'cause I care about you so much, I'm ready to know that you're not gonna leave or that this isn't gonna end in heartbreak. And it's like the illustration for it is that I think we tend to like, we open the book and we love the book, but we're like too scared about the journey of the book that we just like flip to the end to see how it ends.

Jake Masseter [00:57:58]:
Yeah. That's kind of like how relationships tend to go when you are more of the anxious person. Um, but the problem in doing that is you might get what you want and you might white knuckle it to the marriage altar or whatever. Mm-hmm. Or you're white-knuckling it, might make an end, but you miss the whole like character arc and journey and all the subplots within that that are all crucial for your growth, and it's crucial for how you build your relationship. And Benji was really good about making me slow down and see that this is about the journey just as much as it's about the destination. So if you are listening to this and you're struggling with that, then I think I didn't have those things that you had until Benji, basically. And then I had friends that could come around me and challenge me and press the brakes a little bit.

Jake Masseter [00:58:48]:
But yeah, I think if you're listening to this and you don't have that, community's a must. And I think we'd be surprised how many people tend to ditch their Bibles and abandon their quiet times when their routine gets shaken up by a new significant other. Yeah. So the fact that you haven't left that, like that's still very much a part of who you are, I think is huge.

Leslie [00:59:08]:
Yeah. I think it's good to watch people and what you guys are doing too, where it's like, hey, we're so excited about this. We like see a future in this. And then it's going like, okay. Knowing though that it takes time to really know somebody. Yeah, it does. Like, and, and I think specific now, Jake, you might be the one exception. I feel like you are the, you like, there's no other option for you to be somebody else except for yourself.

Leslie [00:59:33]:
Yeah.

Morgan May Treuil [00:59:33]:
Which is awesome. Like one week with me and you're like, I have a pretty good grasp on how this guy thinks and operates and what he says.

Leslie [00:59:39]:
Yes. But I even remember like high school, like not, or high school, college, like some of those relationships. I remember feeling like I'm like 6 months in and I'm still like, I'm me, but I'm playing the absolute best version. Mm-hmm. And I, so I think there's, there's wisdom in time of seeing like, you know, not only a relationship like blossom and have cool things that come from it. But also going like, hey, we're gonna see each other through, through some seasons and see, you know, how not, and not for a fact of like, oh, it's not gonna work. Like you could be like, hey, I know. And I know that God has told me this is it.

Leslie [01:00:16]:
But I think there's, it's just like you're saying, it's like there's ebbs and flows of relationships where it's like you learn stuff along the way. Mm-hmm. That will help you later in your marriage because.

Morgan May Treuil [01:00:27]:
Yep.

Jake Masseter [01:00:27]:
Yeah. You know? Yeah. Don't skip the growth moments in the dating.

Leslie [01:00:30]:
Exactly.

Jake Masseter [01:00:31]:
Because it will negatively impact your marriage.

Leslie [01:00:33]:
And dating is such a fun, like, I think when you're in the dating phase, you just wanna be married. Mm-hmm. And then it's, I'm not saying you're like this, I'm saying at least like from our perspective, it's like when you're in the dating phase, you're like, okay, now I wanna be in the married phase. But there is so much.

Jake Masseter [01:00:46]:
Yeah.

Leslie [01:00:46]:
There's so much fun in that phase too. I've heard married people say that where they're like, don't always just rush the dating phase cuz that is such a special.

Morgan May Treuil [01:00:54]:
Yeah.

Leslie [01:00:54]:
It's so fun.

Jake Masseter [01:00:55]:
Cool time. It is so much fun.

Leslie [01:00:55]:
Which I love that you guys are doing that. It's so much fun.

Jake Masseter [01:00:56]:
I wish I could go back and tell myself. Like, but the hardship is you, if you knew that it ended in marriage, maybe you could go back and tell yourself, okay, chill out.

Leslie [01:01:09]:
It ends the way you want it to.

Jake Masseter [01:01:10]:
It'll be, it'll have fun.

Leslie [01:01:12]:
Yeah.

Jake Masseter [01:01:12]:
But that's also not part of the growing process. Cause that requires no faith. Mm-hmm. And no dependence on God. Yeah. So, yeah. Jake, this has been great.

Morgan May Treuil [01:01:22]:
Mm-hmm.

Jake Masseter [01:01:22]:
Thank you so much. We are really happy for you. Thank you. Very proud of you.

Leslie [01:01:26]:
Yes.

Jake Masseter [01:01:26]:
The internet is proud of you. Thank you, internet.

Morgan May Treuil [01:01:30]:
And.

Jake Masseter [01:01:30]:
Yeah, we'll have to have Emily on the podcast at some point. I know. If this all, if this all, you know, like goes a certain way.

Morgan May Treuil [01:01:39]:
Yeah. How far in would we have to be dating before you're like, hey, bring her on the—

Jake Masseter [01:01:45]:
probably engaged. Engaged?

Morgan May Treuil [01:01:46]:
Yeah, probably engaged. Yeah. Yeah, because it's wild that I'm on here after 2 months. Yeah, it actually— when you guys text me and you're like, hey, come tell all about this girl.

Jake Masseter [01:01:56]:
But I think that that's the unique perspective that is like, it's risky, but it's the thing I wish people could hear at this stage in their relationship.

Leslie [01:02:06]:
Yeah. I'm also a risky person this time. Because you hear, this is what we get a lot of comments about. It's like if we have someone on and they're married and they're talking about singleness, we get a bunch of people going, I wanna hear from someone who's in, in the thick of it. Yeah. And so then it's like, if you have somebody who has been dating for like a year and they're talking about the early phases, it's like, it's cool that you're willing to open up in—

Jake Masseter [01:02:30]:
when you're literally in the middle of—

Leslie [01:02:32]:
in real time, because it's risky to do that on this podcast, but it's helpful.

Jake Masseter [01:02:36]:
But it is so helpful, and you've said some really helpful things.

Morgan May Treuil [01:02:39]:
She also grasps like this.

Leslie [01:02:42]:
Everyone, everyone knows everything all the time, huh? No, he's just saying that she's understanding that this would not be an open book to everyone.

Jake Masseter [01:02:49]:
Yeah, but is she a podcast listener?

Morgan May Treuil [01:02:51]:
Is she a podcast listener?

Jake Masseter [01:02:52]:
Why are you repeating the question? Is she or is she not?

Morgan May Treuil [01:02:55]:
I think that's our answer. Unfortunately, I have not asked that. I'm sorry, that should have been one of my earlier questions.

Leslie [01:03:00]:
Well, she will now because she'll hear you and then she'll probably go back. I actually, you know what, I'm gonna send her— I don't have her number, but I'm gonna send her, um, his previous episodes.

Jake Masseter [01:03:09]:
Then she'll— then she has a decision to make. Yeah. Okay, we have to end this because I have a meeting. Um, thank you for joining us on Am I Doing This Right?

Leslie [01:03:17]:
Thank you.

Jake Masseter [01:03:18]:
Do you want to close this out since this That's kind of your—

Leslie [01:03:20]:
you, you tend to—

Jake Masseter [01:03:21]:
any final words?

Morgan May Treuil [01:03:22]:
Any final words? I was like, are we praying? Close this out in prayer. Uh, close. Yeah, I would say this: don't be afraid to go on a date. If you're a friend—

Leslie [01:03:32]:
do I, do I not look at the camera?

Morgan May Treuil [01:03:34]:
Okay, looking at the camera. This is like my Hot Ones episode.

Leslie [01:03:36]:
Okay, face the camera on this podcast. But hey everybody, well, no, you're that one.

Morgan May Treuil [01:03:44]:
Okay, um, set, set your friends up on, on dates more. Like, shout out Bella. Don't be afraid to set your friends up on dates. If you get asked to go on a date, there's no reason for you to say no unless you're in a wildly unhealthy spot. Go on the date. Guys, step up and just start asking more girls out because there's great girls out there. Uh, and then girls, be yourselves. Always be yourselves.

Morgan May Treuil [01:04:03]:
If you're changing yourself for a man, he ain't the one.

Leslie [01:04:06]:
Love it.

Jake Masseter [01:04:06]:
Those are some good—

Morgan May Treuil [01:04:07]:
we could have just done that. Literally, that was the whole thing.

Leslie [01:04:12]:
Uh, no.

Jake Masseter [01:04:12]:
What did you ask? He edited. He edited himself. He had one more, but he edited it.

Morgan May Treuil [01:04:18]:
Edited it?

Jake Masseter [01:04:18]:
No, I can't remember what it was. Liar. Anyways, okay, thanks for joining us. Am I doing this right? We will see you guys back here next week.

Leslie [01:04:26]:
Time. Bye-bye.